Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
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Dear Betrayed,
Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had?
Dear Betrayer,
Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and you would lose everything if/when you came clean?
Beloved, do you both feel like your marriage is over?
Well, you’re right. That marriage full of secrets and lies IS over. But now there is hope for an honest and transparent marriage - one full of trust, safety, connection, forgiveness, acceptance, and intimacy that you’ve never known before. Bold statement, right? You may be thinking, “No way!” That’s okay. We understand…
Hi, we are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been where you are...
As a result of adultery fueled by pornography, the marriage vows we had exchanged as starry-eyed newlyweds and had worked so hard to keep were eventually shattered. We’ve been through hell and back. But we are here, together, to let you know that this devastation we experienced was actually a gift.
Of course, we didn’t see it that way at first and you probably don’t either. But, through a commitment to recovery, our faith in God, and our hope for redemption, we set out on a journey of healing, and we can’t wait to share what we’ve learned with you. We now have a marriage that continually blows our minds, and we give God all the glory!
So, if you’re ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us on a journey of faith as we talk through difficult questions like;
Is there hope for our marriage?
Can I fix all the damage I’ve done?
Can I ever trust again?
Is true intimacy even possible?
We will also do deep dives into the topics of:
* Isolation
* Guilt and Shame
* Anger
* Rejection
* Addiction
* Trauma
* Body Image
* Triggers
* Communication
* And more…
Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But, with God’s help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too.
You can connect with us at:
support@beyondbrokenvows.com
https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com/
https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com/
We would love to be part of your journey to healing and wholeness!
Listen on:
Episodes
5 days ago
5 days ago
In our current series, Behind the Wall of Isolation, we are dismantling the myths that keep Christian couples trapped in cycles of secrecy and shame.
Today we’re tackling something that keeps a lot of parents awake at night…
Should we talk to the kids about the betrayal?
And if so, when?
And how?
When hiding the reality of our marriage from our kids, we aren’t just trying to protect them; we are navigating a minefield of our own fears.
We’re going over 8 common fears parents feel when they choose to isolate their children from the truth of their struggle and also give you some answers to the when and how questions.
We pray this blesses you!
Johnny and Emily
💚TIP JAR If this, or any of our episodes, brought you hope or encouragement, please leave us a little blessing to help us keep our content ad-free!
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 14. To Tell Or Not To Tell: 3 Things We Did Right (And 1 Thing We Didn’t) When Deciding to Who Needs To Know Our Infidelity Story
Episode 154. Beyond the Wall of Isolation (Series Intro)
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday May 04, 2026
Monday May 04, 2026
In our ongoing series, Behind the Wall of Isolation, we are stripping away the myths that keep Christian couples stuck in cycles of secrecy and shame.
Building on our conversations about why “keeping it in-house” never protects a marriage, today’s episode walks through eight fears that stop many wives from sharing their story with others.
Join us as we address these obstacles head-on and discuss how to find the courage to step out of the shadows.
We pray this blesses you!
Johnny and Emily
💚TIP JAR If this, or any of our episodes, brought you hope or encouragement, please leave us a little blessing to help us keep our content ad-free!
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 14. To Tell Or Not To Tell: 3 Things We Did Right (And 1 Thing We Didn’t) When Deciding to Who Needs To Know Our Infidelity Story
Episode 154. Beyond the Wall of Isolation (Series Intro)
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Apr 27, 2026
Monday Apr 27, 2026
Have you encountered one of the most dangerous traps in the entire recovery process?
Today we’re talking to husbands, who have been unfaithful to their wives, about the myth of “Managing the Reputation” which can trap men, and marriages, in isolation.
Husband’s, you may be terrified of what people will think if they see the reality behind the mask you wear. You’re holding onto the “honorable” version of yourself while also holding onto the secret of your sin that nullifies your honor.
The truth is that your reputation is a house of cards. If it’s built on a hollow foundation of secret sin, it’s already gone.
You aren’t protecting a reputation; you’re protecting your pride, and your pride becomes one of the biggest obstacles to your wife’s healing and your true reconciliation with God. You cannot be a man of integrity while living a life of duplicity.
Join us as we outline 8 common fears that keep husbands behind the wall of isolation and give hope for moving beyond isolation into freedom.
We pray this blesses you!
Johnny and Emily
💚TIP JAR If this, or any of our episodes, brought you hope or encouragement, please leave us a little blessing to help us keep our content ad-free!
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 14. To Tell Or Not To Tell: 3 Things We Did Right (And 1 Thing We Didn’t) When Deciding to Who Needs To Know Our Infidelity Story
Episode 154. Beyond the Wall of Isolation (Series Intro)
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Apr 20, 2026
Monday Apr 20, 2026
Isolation is the secret weapon of betrayal. When a husband is hiding a life of porn or stepping outside the marriage for sex, he’s essentially building a wall. He’s living a double life, and that wall keeps his wife on the outside holding her breath, while he’s off in his own dark, private world.
It kills intimacy, it kills trust, and honestly, it turns marriage into a performance.
The goal is to dismantle the wall of secrecy so that the atmosphere of the home can move from the shadows of betrayal to the light of genuine, albeit painful, restoration.
Recovery isn’t just about stopping the sin; it is about regaining what was lost, stolen, or given away and building a new marriage that is actually intimate - because it is honest.
We pray this blesses you!
Johnny and Emily
💚TIP JAR If this, or any of our episodes, brought you hope or encouragement, please leave us a little blessing to help us keep our content ad-free!
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 14. To Tell Or Not To Tell: 3 Things We Did Right (And 1 Thing We Didn’t) When Deciding to Who Needs To Know Our Infidelity Story
Episode 57. Alone No More: How Isolation Fuels Sex-Addiction and How to Defeat It
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Apr 13, 2026
Monday Apr 13, 2026
In this episode, we explore the destructive cycle of objectification, which is the act of stripping away a person’s humanity to turn them into a mere object for our own selfish purposes.
Whether performed mentally through imagination, emotionally to soothe personal discomfort, verbally, or physically, this objectification mindset can be a gateway to sin.
When we begin to view others as parts rather than as individuals with souls, we desensitize ourselves, making the unthinkable possible.
If you are struggling to maintain purity in your marriage or seeking freedom from long-term porn addiction, this conversation is for you. We break down the mechanics of how we strip humanity from others and, more importantly, how to stop the cycle.
We pray this blesses you!
Johnny and Emily
💚TIP JAR If this, or any of our episodes, brought you hope or encouragement, please leave us a little blessing to help us keep our content ad-free!
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 97. "The Bubble" - What Makes Sex Addiction So Cunning, Baffling, and Powerful?
Episode 126. Forgiving Yourself After Betraying Your Wife
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Apr 06, 2026
Monday Apr 06, 2026
Hello Man of God,
Have you been stuck in a seemingly unending cycle of persistent sexual integrity issues - be it pornography, one-night stands, sex workers, or long-term sexual relationships, only to find yourself in prayer, at the "alter" or at the "foot of the cross" asking God to remove this sin from your life?
Did God answer you??
Did God remove your desire for pornography??
For many of us the answer was no. For some, the answer was not what we thought it would be.
What if God's plan to save you was to expose you and lay you out bare for all to see?
What if God loved you so much that he exposed you; doing for you what you could not or would not do for yourself?
Today we will spend some time talking about when God's plan to help us, is through exposing us. Johnny will share his personal story of when God was giving him the way out – the way to freedom.
You will not want to miss this impactful conversation, so find a quiet spot to listen for what God may be telling you.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💚TIP JAR If this, or any of our episodes, brought you hope or encouragement, please leave us a little blessing to help us keep our content ad-free!
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 16. ”It’s Just Porn, What’s The Big Deal?” And 4 Other Lies We Tell Ourselves To Justify Viewing Pornography
Episode 25. Persistent Sexual Integrity Issues in Marriage. Do Recovery Programs Really Work?
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Mar 30, 2026
Monday Mar 30, 2026
In this episode, we reflect on the sacred weight of Passion Week, and invite you to pause and turn your eyes toward the transformative final days of Jesus’s earthly life.
From the triumphant shouts of Palm Sunday to the agonizing solitude of Gethsemane and the ultimate sacrifice at the Cross, this week is a reminder that the path to redemption always requires a death.
We reflect on the gravity of what Jesus endured for us, acknowledging that without the shadow of Good Friday, there could be no glorious dawn of Easter Sunday.
In this episode, we explore how the powerful truth of the resurrection offers a path forward for those navigating the pain of sexual betrayal in their marriages.
Much like the disciples at the empty tomb, you are invited to stop looking for life among the dead remnants of the past.
By letting go of what once was, you create space for Christ’s resurrection power to breathe new life into your relationship.
Join us as we walk through these final days of our Lord, finding deep, abiding hope in the victory of the empty tomb and the promise of renewal for your marriage.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💚TIP JAR If this, or any of our episodes, brought you hope or encouragement, please leave us a little blessing to help us keep our content ad-free!
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 33.The Greatest Gift at Christmas: A 12-Stop Journey To God’s Plan for Redemption
Episode 79. Redeeming What Was Lost, Stolen, or Given Away Through Adultery
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Mar 23, 2026
Monday Mar 23, 2026
As Christ followers, we absolutely want to use the scriptures as our primary guide for living our lives. Afterall, as it says in 2 Tim. 3:16-17, all scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training, in righteousness so that the servant of God may be equipped for every good work.
We love God’s Word, but sometimes we can use scripture as a weapon.
On today’s show, we’ll talk about what it means to weaponize scripture against our spouse while we are healing and recovering from the effects of a marriage shattered by sexual betrayal.
We’ll define what weaponizing the Bible is, show you some examples of what it looks like, and offer solutions for using scripture to promote peace and healing while recovering from the effects of infidelity in your marriage.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💚TIP JAR If this episode brought you hope or encouragement, please leave us a little blessing to help us keep our content ad-free!
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 69. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #5 Spiritual Leadership
Episode 132.12 Markers of a Trustworthy Husband (Markers 10, 11, and 12)
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Mar 16, 2026
Monday Mar 16, 2026
We’ve walked the hard road of betrayal and addiction, and we know that half-measures simply don’t cut it when you are fighting for the heart of your marriage. True healing isn’t about just stopping the bad behavior—it’s about actively pursuing the life God intended for your covenant, even when the path is difficult.
Today, we’re talking about what it really takes to go the extra mile. We’re discussing why settling for the bare minimum keeps so many couples stuck, and how leaning into the uncomfortable work is exactly what separates those who survive from those who truly thrive in restoration.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💚TIP JAR If this episode brought you hope or encouragement, please leave us a little blessing to help us keep our content ad-free!
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 49. Sobriety vs. Recovery After Porn-Fueled Infidelity
Episode 140. How Well Do You Really Know Your Spouse When Infidelity Becomes Your Reality
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Mar 09, 2026
Monday Mar 09, 2026
In our coaching practice, we see patterns emerge in different areas that tell a bigger story about what is going on in the minds husbands who have betrayed, and their traumatized wives.
Today we are going to talk about the scenario of a husband making suggestions for the recovery and healing of his wife. This is tricky ground. The husband’s motivation can come from a place of genuine concern or from something more self-serving. Is either one of these approaches helpful?
We’ll unpack this quandary, and give you some hope for working out this issue in a way that pleases God and gives him the glory.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💚TIP JAR If this episode brought you hope or encouragement, please leave us a little blessing to help us keep our content ad-free!
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 22. How Long Will This Hurt? Experiencing The 5 Stages of Grief Through the Lens of Sexual Betrayal
Episode 87. Can’t We Just Get Back to Normal? Shortest Path to True Intimacy After Sexual Betrayal
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Beyond Broken Vows
Hello Beloved,
You may have been betrayed by your spouse or you may be the one who has betrayed your spouse through pornography use or even extra-marital relationships.
God loves you both!
We are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been on the painful road of sexual betrayal and addiction, but our marriage has been redeemed by the miraculous power of Jesus Christ.
Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But with God's help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too.
So, if you are ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and get ready to be encouraged!