Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
***Top 1.5% Global Podcast*** Dear Betrayed, Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had? Dear Betrayer, Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and you would lose everything if/when you came clean? Beloved, do you both feel like your marriage is over? Well, you’re right. That marriage full of secrets and lies IS over. But now there is hope for an honest and transparent marriage - one full of trust, safety, connection, forgiveness, acceptance, and intimacy that you’ve never known before. Bold statement, right? You may be thinking, “No way!” That’s okay. We understand… Hi, we are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been where you are... As a result of adultery fueled by pornography, the marriage vows we had exchanged as starry-eyed newlyweds and had worked so hard to keep were eventually shattered. We’ve been through hell and back. But we are here, together, to let you know that this devastation we experienced was actually a gift. Of course, we didn’t see it that way at first and you probably don’t either. But, through a commitment to recovery, our faith in God, and our hope for redemption, we set out on a journey of healing, and we can’t wait to share what we’ve learned with you. We now have a marriage that continually blows our minds, and we give God all the glory! So, if you’re ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us on a journey of faith as we talk through difficult questions like; Is there hope for our marriage? Can I fix all the damage I’ve done? Can I ever trust again? Is true intimacy even possible? We will also do deep dives into the topics of: * Isolation * Guilt and Shame * Anger * Rejection * Addiction * Trauma * Body Image * Triggers * Communication * And more… Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But, with God’s help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too. You can connect with us at: support@beyondbrokenvows.com https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com/ https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com/ We would love to be part of your journey to healing and wholeness!
Listen on:
Episodes
8 hours ago
8 hours ago
If you are listening to our podcast on a regular basis, and we hope you are, you are likely working hard to stay married after porn-fueled infidelity.
One challenging area that needs to be addressed in the recovery process is shame and guilt. Many times, shame and guilt are used interchangeably as though they are the same. Do you know there’s a difference? What are the differences?
Join us today for our conversation on the difference between guilt and shame and how one of these is actually helpful for us as we move forward in our healing process.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet at support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology
Episode 19. Feeling Like I’m Not Enough: How Comparison Can Distort Self-Identity
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Sep 30, 2024
Monday Sep 30, 2024
We know our story of sexual betrayal and recovery is not the only one out there, so we are excited to share with you a compelling conversation we had with Steve Shields from the Unashamed Unafraid podcast. He tells his unique and very personal story of how a Christian man trapped in porn addiction was able to come to terms with his powerlessness, and after several recovery setbacks, was finally able to get experience freedom from shame and addiction and help others get free as well.
It is so good to know that we are not alone on this journey of brokenness to wholeness. No matter who you are or where you’ve been, there is hope for a better future on the other side of porn-fueled infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Listen in to hear some nuggets of truth and wisdom as we hear Steve tell his amazing redemption story!
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
Connect with Steve Shields:
Unafraid Unashamed podcast
unashamedunafraid.com
instagram- @unashamedunafraid
youtube- @unashamedunafraidpod
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 20. From Porn Queen To Child of God Now On Mission To Help Others Find Freedom with Elizabeth Spraggins
Episode 21. Breaking Free: How To Escape the Grip of Porn Addiction with Emmanuel and Bekah Guarino
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Sep 23, 2024
Monday Sep 23, 2024
We had planned to update and replay episodes all this month to help us take things a little slower for our anniversary. Well, we got of our 2 most popular shows out, but this week we decided to share some new content with you.
We want to give some encouragement and a little guidance to those of you who are struggling in the storm of your broken marriage. Whether you have been betrayed or you have broken trust, this episode will show you how to find peace and comfort through the praise and celebration of our amazing Redeemer and Lord, Jesus Christ.
We pray this blesses you!
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 28. Giving Thanks In Your Broken Marriage Through Gratitude
Episode 58. Purpose from Pain. Did Sexual Betrayal Destroy God’s Plan for Your Marriage?
Episode 61. Is Joy Possible After Sexual Betrayal?
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Sep 16, 2024
Monday Sep 16, 2024
It's been almost a year and a half since we first told our stories of sexual addiction and betrayal on our podcast. A lot has happened since then!
We are so very grateful for the recovery, healing, and growth that both of us have experienced since D-Day in 2018. It has been due to God's help, tons of hard work on our part, and a great support community.
To commemorate our 37th wedding anniversary, we are taking a little slower pace for the month of September. So, on today's episode, we are revisiting Johnny's story of how a young boy with hopes and dreams for a wonderful future ends up confessing to his wife of 31 years that he is a sex addict and an adulterer.
His painful story is tragic, but also beautiful because he knows the One who makes a way when there is no way. Jesus can make something beautiful out of the ashes of our lives if we let him. And we know it's true because he's done it for us. He can do it for you too!
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
Sex Addict Self-Assessment Questionnaire
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 01. ”Why Are We Talking About Betrayal?” A Q&A with the Betrayed and the Betrayer
Episode 02. Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me
Episode 04. Sharing Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Sep 09, 2024
Monday Sep 09, 2024
September is our anniversary month and we're celebrating by taking a break from creating new episodes this month, but rather updating and replaying a few of our most popular episodes.
Today we are revisiting Episode #2 Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me, where Emily bares her soul to tell the story of Johnny's marital infidelity* fueled by pornography use. And although it was Not Her Fault in any way, she is not perfect and you will hear some of the ways she fell short in her life too. But God is bigger than any failure, heartbreak or trauma. He is the redeemer of the lost and the comforter of the broken-hearted. (*name changed for privacy)
Grab a spiced latte or some other yummy drink and settle in for a deep and personal story of a betrayed wife and the hope she found in Jesus.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 01. ”Why Are We Talking About Betrayal?” A Q&A with the Betrayed and the Betrayer
Episode 03. His Story: I Betrayed My Wife and My Moral Values
Episode 04. Sharing Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Sep 02, 2024
Monday Sep 02, 2024
Wives, do you have a desire for your husband to lead you and your family spiritually? Of course!
Husbands, are you at a loss for what that looks like and how you can show up for your wife in this area? Yeah, probably.
Unfortunately, in many Christian marriages, this is often a reality. A wife will take up the responsibility of being the spiritual head of the home because her husband isn’t stepping into that role.
When betrayal and addiction are revealed, reasons for his passivity become clear. After discovery, it may be necessary for a wife to temporarily take the lead until her husband achieves some recovery and healing, giving him the capacity and desire to lead his wife spiritually.
Today we are discussing 4 ways a husband can take up his God-given role to lead his wife in authentic spiritual leadership.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
Ebook - 9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal, for couples who have decided to stay married. Available exclusively on our Patreon page, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 64. 5 Things A Betrayed Wife Needs From Her Recovering Husband (Series)
Episode 65. 5 Things A Betrayed Wife Needs…(Series) #1 See Her Pain
Episode 66. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #2 Prioritize Her
Episode 67. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #3 Keep Your Promises
Episode 68. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #4 Emotional Maturity
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Aug 26, 2024
Monday Aug 26, 2024
Wives, are you trying to communicate your feelings to your husband and somehow it always ends up being about him. Are just not feeling seen, heard and validated?
Men, is your wife explaining to you how she feels or coming at you with big emotions and you find yourself at a loss of how to respond?
This can happen in any marriage, but when sexual betrayal is a reality, the pain and frustration seem magnified to levels that threaten to break the marriage. But, when she finds her voice and he respond with emotional maturity, the healing can begin.
Today we are going to talk through examples of how a betrayed wife can clearly communicate what she needs and how a recovering husband can respond with emotional maturity.
Grab a cool drink and get ready as we unpack 4 areas where emotional maturity can be cultivated.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 64. 5 Things A Betrayed Wife Needs From Her Recovering Husband (Series)
Episode 65. 5 Things A Betrayed Wife Needs…(Series) #1 See Her Pain
Episode 66. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #2 Prioritize Her
Episode 67. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #3 Keep Your Promises
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Aug 19, 2024
Monday Aug 19, 2024
How much do you value keeping your word? And how does it make you feel when someone doesn't keep their word?
For a betrayed wife, it becomes even more important that her recovering husband keep his word. This new display of reliability provides the safety and security that she desperately needs in a time of confusion and broken trust. When he makes the effort to follow through on his promises, he's slowly rebuilding a solid foundation of trustworthiness that she can depend on.
Join us for this important discussion centered around the importance of keeping our word.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 64. 5 Things A Wife Needs From Her Recovering Husband (Series)
Episode 65. 5 Things A Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) - #1 See Her Pain
Episode 66. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) - #2 Prioritize Her
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Aug 12, 2024
Monday Aug 12, 2024
We all have priorities, whether we make them intentionally or they exist by default. At times our priorities can be misguided and cause pain for ourselves and for others. We also understand that priorities are important and it’s necessary to have them in the right order.
And for a betrayed wife, it’s imperative to know that she is a priority to her husband.
Today as we continue in our series, we will cover a wife’s need to feel she is more important to her husband than anyone or anything else on the planet. We will be outlining 4 ways a recovering husband can make this a reality for his wife.
So, grab a cool beverage, pop in your ear bud, and join us for this important discussion.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 49. Sobriety vs. Recovery After Porn-Fueled Infidelity
Episode 64. 5 Things A Betrayed Wife Needs From Her Recovering Husband (Series)
Episode 65. 5 Things A Betrayed Wife Needs…(Series) - #1 See Her Pain
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Aug 05, 2024
Monday Aug 05, 2024
Following the revelation of sexual betrayal, a couple must decide whether to stay together or not. Choosing to stay married initiates a complex journey of recovery and healing, filled with challenges and triumphs.
However, the journey may be prolonged due to the betrayer's lack of understanding the needs of the betrayed. Initially, the focus is on the betrayer's recovery and repairing the damage. The betrayed spouse often struggles to feel safe and discern truth.
Today we will be speaking through the lens of a betraying husband and a betrayed wife because that is our story. We want to shed light on the needs a wife has after the devastation of learning her husband has been unfaithful. Needs she may not even realize she has and needs her husband is most likely completely clueless about.
Listen in as we share with you what we have learned on our own journey of healing from sexual betrayal.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 52. What Is His Response To Her BIG Emotions After Porn-Fueled Infidelity?
Episode 54. Betrayed Wives Experience Profound Loss, But Do Cheating Husbands?
Episode 64. 5 Things A Wife Needs From Her Recovering Husband (Series)
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Beyond Broken Vows
Hello Beloved,
You may have been betrayed by your spouse or you may be the one who has betrayed your spouse through pornography use or even extra-marital relationships.
God loves you both!
We are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been on the painful road of sexual betrayal and addiction, but our marriage has been redeemed by the miraculous power of Jesus Christ.
Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But with God's help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too.
So, if you are ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and get ready to be encouraged!