Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
***Top 1.5% Global Podcast*** Dear Betrayed, Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had? Dear Betrayer, Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and you would lose everything if/when you came clean? Beloved, do you both feel like your marriage is over? Well, you’re right. That marriage full of secrets and lies IS over. But now there is hope for an honest and transparent marriage - one full of trust, safety, connection, forgiveness, acceptance, and intimacy that you’ve never known before. Bold statement, right? You may be thinking, “No way!” That’s okay. We understand… Hi, we are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been where you are... As a result of adultery fueled by pornography, the marriage vows we had exchanged as starry-eyed newlyweds and had worked so hard to keep were eventually shattered. We’ve been through hell and back. But we are here, together, to let you know that this devastation we experienced was actually a gift. Of course, we didn’t see it that way at first and you probably don’t either. But, through a commitment to recovery, our faith in God, and our hope for redemption, we set out on a journey of healing, and we can’t wait to share what we’ve learned with you. We now have a marriage that continually blows our minds, and we give God all the glory! So, if you’re ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us on a journey of faith as we talk through difficult questions like; Is there hope for our marriage? Can I fix all the damage I’ve done? Can I ever trust again? Is true intimacy even possible? We will also do deep dives into the topics of: * Isolation * Guilt and Shame * Anger * Rejection * Addiction * Trauma * Body Image * Triggers * Communication * And more… Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But, with God’s help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too. You can connect with us at: support@beyondbrokenvows.com https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com/ https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com/ We would love to be part of your journey to healing and wholeness!
Listen on:
Episodes
Monday Aug 28, 2023
Monday Aug 28, 2023
If pornography is no big deal, why are so many marriages destroyed by it?
If pornography is harmless, why are so many people around the world hurt by it?
If pornography is no big deal, why do we hide it from our wives?
If pornography is harmless, why do we hide it from our children?
How much do you know about porn and the pornography industry? I didn’t know much about it when I got married and I didn’t really want to. I thought it was something non-believers did. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to stay naive about this topic when my husband revealed to me his pornography use that escalated into extra-marital relationships. I got an education that I never wanted, but it has helped me to be more discerning and also empathetic to those who struggle with this destructive habitual sin.
Today we will unpack 4 lies that people tell themselves when trying to justify the use of pornography and also just how harmful it is inside of covenant marriage.
We hope this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
y pornography use or addiction, it is easy to only focus on the outward behaviors because they are so painful and destructive. But what if there is something deeper under the surface that you are unaware of? What if the addiction was only the evidence of an underlying problem. Would you be willing to explore the possibility?
I’m a recovering sex addict with over 4 years of sobriety and I’m grateful that I discovered that there was something insidious behind my acting out behaviors. This realization became the framework on which my recovery began.
Today we are going to unpack my ah-ha moment and uncover the deeper origins that led to my true addiction, which had manifested as porn addiction and ultimately culminated into extra-marital relationships.
So, grab your favorite beverage and join us for this eye-opening discussion about what may be behind our addictive and destructive behaviors.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
Exodus Cry - Fighting human sex trafficking globally. Know the Facts. Join the Movement. Give to the Cause. https://exoduscry.com/
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 02. Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me
Episode 03. His Story: I Betrayed My Wife and My Moral Values
Episode 04. Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review.
✔️If you have a question for Johnny and/or Emily, you can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Monday Aug 21, 2023
Monday Aug 21, 2023
Have you ever told someone something you knew they were not going to want to hear? Do you have something you need to tell someone and are terrified about how they will react? Are you afraid to say it because it could cause them significant pain and/or jeopardize your relationship with them?
These are very natural emotions that come with telling difficult news. This was our predicament when we made the decision to tell some people about the reality of infidelity in our marriage.
Today we will share with you how we went through this process and what happened as a result.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
The Healing Apology (request .pdf at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 01. ”Why Are We Talking About Betrayal?” A Q&A with the Betrayed and the Betrayer
Episode 02. Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me
Episode 03. His Story: I Betrayed My Wife and My Moral Values
Episode 04. Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery
Episode 14. To Tell Or Not To Tell: 3 Things We Did Right (And 1 Thing We Didn’t) When Deciding Who Needs To Know Our Infidelity Story
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review.
✔️If you have a question for Johnny and/or Emily, you can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Monday Aug 14, 2023
Monday Aug 14, 2023
Your marriage has suffered a massive blow of betrayal. Adultery through pornography and/or extra-marital relationships has been discovered. You both want to save the marriage, if possible, by working on reconciliation and recovery. But now you’re wondering if you need to tell anyone or if you should just keep it private and work on it together.
We went through this same scenario and today we are going to let you peek inside our marriage and the devastation we experienced through infidelity to see the process we went through when trying to decide, To Tell or Not To Tell. That IS the question. For today. 😉
So, grab a yummy beverage, get comfortable and listen in as we take a trip down memory lane, just 4 ½ short years ago, and walk you through the things we did right (and one thing we didn’t) when making the decision to tell or not to tell.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
The Healing Apology (request .pdf at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 01. ”Why Are We Talking About Betrayal?” A Q&A with the Betrayed and the Betrayer
Episode 02. Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me
Episode 03. His Story: I Betrayed My Wife and My Moral Values
Episode 04. Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review.
✔️If you have a question for Johnny and/or Emily, you can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Monday Aug 07, 2023
Monday Aug 07, 2023
Triggers, what are they and how do they affect us? Triggers come without warning and without our permission. Today we’re going to dissect the ways we are triggered and how we should handle them, so they are not destructive, but rather an opportunity for healing, connection and growth. And good heavens, do they ever stop?
Grab your favorite beverage and buckle up as we talk about triggers.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
The Healing Apology (request .pdf at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
The Second Coming Tattoo Parlor, Fort Worth, Texas - ask for Felipe
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology
Episode 12. His Adultery Shattered My Reality. How Do I Know What’s Real?
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review.
✔️If you have a question for Johnny or Emily, you can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Monday Jul 31, 2023
Monday Jul 31, 2023
What actually happens to a person who has experienced betrayal? What happens in the mind of one who has their reality shattered in an instant?
Today we’re going to be discussing the effects of this type of mental and emotional injury when someone is betrayed. We’ll be sharing with you how this affected us after Johnny’s confession of adultery through pornography use and extra-marital relationships and how we sorted through the reality that our marriage was not what Emily thought it was. We’ll also share what we did to sift through the wreckage and find the nuggets of truth which then helped us to start building our new, more honest and beautiful, reality together.
So, grab your favorite beverage and spend some time with us as we have a conversation about what is real and not real.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
The Healing Apology (request .pdf at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
The Aftermath of Betrayal by Michelle D. Mays LPC, CSAT-S
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 8. I’m So Angry! How I Overcome Anger from Sexual Betrayal in 3 Simple But Not Easy Steps
Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology
Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review.
✔️If you have a question or comment for Johnny or Emily, you can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Monday Jul 24, 2023
Monday Jul 24, 2023
Do you find it hard to forgive someone who has hurt you deeply?
On our show today, we’re going to unpack 4 keys to unlocking forgiveness. This method is simple, but it’s definitely not easy. So how do we get through this difficult process? We will share with you how this approach played out in our marriage after porn-fueled infidelity and where we turned for help.
Grab your favorite beverage and spend some time with us as we delve deeper into the topic of forgiveness.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
The Healing Apology (request .pdf at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review.
✔️If you have a question for Johnny or Emily, you can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Monday Jul 17, 2023
Monday Jul 17, 2023
Do you appreciate getting an apology? Do you have a hard time extending one? Do you even know what a good apology looks like?
Join us today as we cover the 8 steps to a healing apology, which is so helpful in a marriage, especially when there has been some form of betrayal.
We have experienced the power of this healing apology in our own marriage after the discovery and disclosure of pornography use that escalated into infidelity. Giving an apology the wrong way can be even more hurtful than not doing it at all. But, done correctly, it can open the door to forgiveness, healing and hope.
So, grab something to take notes with and your favorite beverage and listen in for a step-by-step process to an amazing healing apology.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Center for Relational Care (CRC)
Austin/Dallas 512.492.6200
Atlanta 678.653.3272
Gary Smalley, Hidden Keys to Loving Relationships (Drive-Through Talking)
How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovich
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
Request the Healing Apology worksheet at support@beyondbrokenvows.com
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases..)
Next Steps:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review.
✔️If you have a question for Johnny or Emily, you can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Monday Jul 10, 2023
Monday Jul 10, 2023
Do you get angry while driving in traffic? Have you ever had or seen road rage? Are you the person that yells at everyone making stupid and even dangerous driving mistakes from inside your car with the windows up?
I can’t say I’ve never had a burst of anger when driving, but in recent years I have made it a practice to try and give other drivers the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they have an emergency, maybe their kids are distracting them... And it also helps to remind myself that I have probably done the same stupid thing before myself and that I’m not the only one with important places to go. But, this isn’t the kind of anger we’re going to talk about today.
Anger can be a catalyst to create needed changes or to promote justice, but it can also become disastrous if not contained within some specific boundaries. Today we are going to talk about the good, the bad and the ugly aspects of anger and how to move through it so we are not trapped in this potentially destructive emotion.
We all struggle with anger at times, but we don't have to let it rule the day. So, grab your favorite beverage and stick around as we have an honest conversation about Emily's anger caused by Johnny's betrayal and how she learned to overcome it with 3 simple (but not easy) steps.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovich
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 01. Why Are We Talking About Betrayal? A Q&A with the Betrayed and the Betrayer
Episode 02. Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me
Episode 03. His Story: I Betrayed My Wife and My Moral Values
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
D
Monday Jul 03, 2023
Monday Jul 03, 2023
When you think of the word honesty, do you view it in black and white or on a sliding scale? Those who see it in black and white might argue that a person either tells the truth or they don’t. Those who prefer a sliding scale approach may categorize white lies at a 1-2, lies of omission at a 4-5, but a deceptive or premeditated lie at 9-10. Honesty, in this person’s mind, is relative.
In our show today, we’re going to talk about rigorous honesty. We were first introduced to this concept through Johnny’s 12-step program. We will unpack what this kind of honesty looks like, how to attain it and how it impacted our recovery process. We will also take a look at what God says about honesty from the scriptures.
So get comfy and settle in for part 2 of our lively discussion on 5 ways we lie and the secret to complete honesty. And just a reminder that we’d love to answer any questions you have about our journey or yours!
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases.)
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 01. Why Are We Talking About Betrayal? A Q&A with the Betrayed and the Betrayer
Episode 02. Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me
Episode 03. His Story: I Betrayed My Wife and My Moral Values
Episode 07. 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 1)
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review.
✔️If you have a question for Johnny or Emily, you can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Monday Jun 26, 2023
Monday Jun 26, 2023
Did you know that there is more than one way to lie?
A lack of honesty can leave others in your life on uncertain ground. How do we overcome this deceptive practice and what is the key to complete honesty?
Spend the next half hour with us as we talk about 5 different ways we lie to each other, how lying affects our relationships and what we can do to change it forever.
We will also be sharing some details from our sometimes painful journey to find freedom from the lies that plagued our marriage.
We hope this blesses you!
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases.)
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 01. Why Are We Talking About Betrayal? A Q&A with the Betrayed and the Betrayer
Episode 02. Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me
Episode 03. His Story: I Betrayed My Wife and My Moral Values
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Beyond Broken Vows
Hello Beloved,
You may have been betrayed by your spouse or you may be the one who has betrayed your spouse through pornography use or even extra-marital relationships.
God loves you both!
We are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been on the painful road of sexual betrayal and addiction, but our marriage has been redeemed by the miraculous power of Jesus Christ.
Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But with God's help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too.
So, if you are ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and get ready to be encouraged!