Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
***Top 1.5% Global Podcast*** Dear Betrayed, Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had? Dear Betrayer, Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and you would lose everything if/when you came clean? Beloved, do you both feel like your marriage is over? Well, you’re right. That marriage full of secrets and lies IS over. But now there is hope for an honest and transparent marriage - one full of trust, safety, connection, forgiveness, acceptance, and intimacy that you’ve never known before. Bold statement, right? You may be thinking, “No way!” That’s okay. We understand… Hi, we are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been where you are... As a result of adultery fueled by pornography, the marriage vows we had exchanged as starry-eyed newlyweds and had worked so hard to keep were eventually shattered. We’ve been through hell and back. But we are here, together, to let you know that this devastation we experienced was actually a gift. Of course, we didn’t see it that way at first and you probably don’t either. But, through a commitment to recovery, our faith in God, and our hope for redemption, we set out on a journey of healing, and we can’t wait to share what we’ve learned with you. We now have a marriage that continually blows our minds, and we give God all the glory! So, if you’re ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us on a journey of faith as we talk through difficult questions like; Is there hope for our marriage? Can I fix all the damage I’ve done? Can I ever trust again? Is true intimacy even possible? We will also do deep dives into the topics of: * Isolation * Guilt and Shame * Anger * Rejection * Addiction * Trauma * Body Image * Triggers * Communication * And more… Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But, with God’s help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too. You can connect with us at: support@beyondbrokenvows.com https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com/ https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com/ We would love to be part of your journey to healing and wholeness!
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Episodes
Monday Nov 20, 2023
Monday Nov 20, 2023
What does Thanksgiving Day mean to you? Here in the United States, it is recognized as a national holiday on the 3rd Thursday of November each year. Today we want to look beyond what’s considered to be the traditional activities of this special day, such as gathering of family, turkey dinner with all the fixings, football, post dinner food comas, all the pies and of course, leftovers. And while all those are very special traditions; we want to take time today to reflect on what it means to truly give thanks and be grateful for what we have been given by God.
We do understand that the holidays can be a very difficult time for those who have experienced sexual betrayal. If you found out about your spouse’s infidelity around the holidays whether this month, a year ago or twenty years ago, memories, triggers and lingering difficult emotions can taint the holiday season. We have found that one of the best ways to deal with these negative experiences is to cultivate a heart of thanksgiving and gratitude. Today we will focus on giving thanks in our relationships with our spouses, families, others, and to God himself.
So, as you join us today, grab your favorite pumpkin spiced whatever and get out your notepad to jot down a few of the ideas we will be sharing with you in this episode.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases.)
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 05. The Effects of Infidelity and How We Made the Decision to Stay Married After Sexual Betrayal
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Disclaimer: The content presented in this podcast is provided solely for educational purposes and should be considered as general information. It is not intended to serve as therapy or psychological advice. We strongly recommend consulting your physician or mental health provider for personalized advice, support, or treatment concerning your well-being. In the event of a crisis, please dial 911 for immediate assistance.
Monday Nov 13, 2023
Monday Nov 13, 2023
Do you see yourself in this vicious cycle of chaos?
When we utilize technology to view pornography and use it for our own sexual satisfaction, then walk away from our devices, it can give us the illusion that we are in control. But how quickly do we shift from promising ourselves that we’re not going to do it again to contemplating what we've seen then anticipating our next opportunity to view only to inevitably return to using pornography to meet our own needs?
Last week we introduced the Step 1 of the Sex Addicts Anonymous 12-step recovery program. Today we will be talking about Step 2 which states, I came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.
So, grab a pen and your favorite beverage and join us for an enlightening discussion that will give us hope that by reaching beyond ourselves this cycle of insanity can be broken, to experience freedom once and for all.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
(This post contains affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases.)
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
Green Book - Sex Addicts Anonymous: 3rd Edition Conference Approved
Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes, Ph.d
(As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 26. Recovery Step 1: Hooked on Porn? Admitting Helplessness Over Pornography’s Pull
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Disclaimer: The content presented in this podcast is provided solely for educational purposes and should be considered as general information. It is not intended to serve as therapy or psychological advice. We strongly recommend consulting your physician or mental health provider for personalized advice, support, or treatment concerning your well-being. In the event of a crisis, please dial 911 for immediate assistance.
Monday Nov 06, 2023
Monday Nov 06, 2023
Does pornography use have a hold on you or someone you love?
Today we are talking about Step 1 of the 12-Step Sex Addicts Anonymous recovery program. This is Johnny’s chosen recovery program so we will be sharing what this step entails, how he approached this step and why it is so imperative to start here. We will also be hearing from Emily on how she views the process and progress of Johnny’s 12-Step recovery journey.
From the Green Book of Recovery: In our addiction we held onto the belief that we were in control of our sexual behavior and could successfully manage our lives. This kept many of us from seeing that we even had a problem. We told ourselves that if we had tried harder, we could have stopped. But our experience has shown otherwise. No matter how many promises or resolutions we made, no matter how strong our efforts and our determination, the behaviors eventually returned, along with their painful consequences. Only when we admit our powerlessness over these behaviors, and our inability to manage our own lives, are we able to begin walking a path of recovery.
We are grateful to the program of Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) that makes our recovery possible.
Grab a pen and something to write on and join us as we lay out the 12 steps of recovery with a deep dive into Step 1.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
_______
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
The Healing Apology (request .pdf at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
Green Book - Sex Addicts Anonymous: 3rd Edition Conference Approved
Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes, Ph.d
_______
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 16. "It’s Just Porn, What’s The Big Deal?” And 4 Other Lies We Tell Ourselves To Justify Viewing Pornography
Episode 17. Is My Spouse A Porn Addict? 13 Clues To Help Expose Compulsive Sexual Behavior
Episode 25. Persistent Sexual Integrity Issues in Marriage. Do Recovery Programs Really Work?
_______
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Oct 30, 2023
Monday Oct 30, 2023
What if you had been confronted with the fact that your life had become unmanageable and through this revelation you discovered that you were powerless over a major struggle in your life? And what if you came to believe that this major struggle in your life was an addiction? You may be asking, "How did I get here? What do I do about it and how do I get out of it?"
If there was a measurable way to reclaim the manageability in your life, would you want to take the steps necessary to repair your broken relationship with your spouse and gain peace for yourself? Even if it turns out to be the hardest work you've ever done?
If you are willing to do this hard work, there is good news!
Today we are going to talk about the discovery of addiction in our lives, how to recover from addiction and why to engage in a recovery program. Buckle up, here we go!
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
_______
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
The Healing Apology (request .pdf at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
Be Broken Ministries – Online care groups for wives wanting help to heal from sexual betrayal trauma. https://www.bebroken.org/wives
_______
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 04. Sharing Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery
_______
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Oct 23, 2023
Monday Oct 23, 2023
Up until now, we’ve been talking a lot about taking steps to stabilize, grieve, heal, and renew our marriages after sexual betrayal. We've covered heavy topics like confession, boundaries, apologies, and forgiveness. and in our last episode even dipped our toes into the waters of reigniting sexual connection and what true intimacy looks like.
But today, we're switching gears. We're going to take a step back from the weightier topics for something more lighthearted and enjoyable.
If you’ve decided to stay married and have been working through the recovery process, have you considered renewing your marriage vows?
Today we're going to explore the "why" behind renewing your vows, why we decided to renew our vows and unpack what renewing your marriage vows signifies as you move forward in your relationship.
So, grab your coffee or wine and get ready for a fun discussion that we hope brings you encouragement in your own healing journey.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
The Healing Apology (request .pdf at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 04. Sharing Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery
Episode 05. The Effects of Infidelity and How We Made the Decision to Stay Married After Sexual Betrayal
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Oct 16, 2023
Monday Oct 16, 2023
Have you wrestled with this question? Can there still be a meaningful sexual relationship after experiencing sexual betrayal? The short answer is YES, but today, we're not diving into the world of makeup or guilt sex. Instead, we'll be delving into the realm of true intimacy.
Intimacy is often misunderstood as just being synonymous with love and sex. While sex is a part of it, there's a deeper layer involved. It's about gradually building a connection with your spouse, one that's rooted in honesty, vulnerability, and transparency. So, join us as we explore the intricacies of maintaining a strong bond through intimacy.
So, reheat your coffee or pour yourself a glass of wine and join us for an encouraging look at sex and intimacy in marriage after sexual betrayal.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
The Healing Apology (request .pdf at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 06. Setting Boundaries After Sexual Betrayal in Marriage
Episode 07. 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 1)
Episode 08. 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 2)
Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology
Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 13. His Triggers, Her Triggers – 4 Steps For Dealing With Triggers While Healing From Infidelity
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Oct 09, 2023
Monday Oct 09, 2023
Hello Friend,
Have you experienced grief? We normally associate grief with the death and loss of someone we love, and we can also grieve the loss of something we are emotionally attached to like a job or home. But there is also a loss that occurs through betrayal. With this type of loss come the very same emotions that are common to losing someone or something dear to us.
After sexual betrayal, the loss of the relationship you thought you had can trigger the grieving process. Finding out about your spouse's hidden sexual behavior can be one of the most shocking betrayals you'll ever experience and being lied to and manipulated compounds the trauma and can even intensify grief. Grief in any situation is very painful and takes time and courage to process through.
So, grab your coffee or pumpkin spiced latte and join us as we look at grief through the lens of sexual betrayal in marriage.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 04. Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery
Episode 05. The Effects of Infidelity and How We Made the Decision to Stay Married After Sexual Betrayal
Check out our videos on YouTube! @BeyondBrokenVows
Next Steps:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review.
✔️If you have a question for Johnny and/or Emily, you can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Monday Oct 02, 2023
Monday Oct 02, 2023
The prevalence of sexually explicit content continues to surge, becoming increasingly accessible with each passing day. Who's it hurting? A better question might be, who isn't it hurting? Pornography affects everyone from innocent children to grandparents and there’s really no escaping it in our culture today. So, what can we do?
Today we are sharing a discussion we had with a young couple who experienced the devastation of pornography use in their marriage. But, they didn’t let it destroy them. In fact, they are doing something amazing to help others struggling with porn addiction find freedom. Their secret to success might just surprise you!
It's time to sip on your favorite drink and join us for a captivating conversation featuring our guests, Emmanuel and Bekah Guarino.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
Here's how to connect with the Guarinos:
Teamvulnerable.com
Youtube: @teamvulnerable
Instagram: @teamvulnerable
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 16. “It’s Just Porn, What’s The Big Deal?” And 4 Other Lies We Tell Ourselves To Justify Viewing Pornography
Episode 17. ” Is My Spouse A Porn Addict? 13 Clues To Help Expose Compulsive Sexual Behavior
Episode 18. Feeling Like I’m Not Enough. What If Pornography Is Not My True Addiction?
Episode 20. From Porn Queen To Child of God Now On Mission To Help Others Find Freedom with Elizabeth Spraggins
Next Steps:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review.
✔️If you have a question for Johnny and/or Emily, you can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Monday Sep 25, 2023
Monday Sep 25, 2023
Hey Friend,
Have you ever been curious about the untold stories of those in the adult entertainment industry? Do you question the authenticity of what you've heard about or witnessed on the screen?
We've recently been talking a lot about the harmful impact of pornography on consumers and their loved ones, but only briefly explored the profound effects it has on those who take center stage.
Today, prepare to be captivated as we engage in a compelling conversation with Elizabeth Spraggins, a remarkable individual who once lived in the world of adult entertainment but has since found freedom in Christ. Elizabeth, a Certified Professional Life Coach and a distinguished authority in human sexuality and adult entertainment, offers us an exclusive glimpse behind the curtains.
She's not only turned her life around but has also extended her hand to those still navigating this complex industry. Join us as Elizabeth unveils the transformation ignited by her newfound relationship with Jesus and her inspiring mission to guide adult entertainers and sex workers toward a path of rebirth—mind, body, and spirit.
Grab your coffee or pumpkin spiced latte and tune in for an eye-opening discussion that'll change the way you see the world behind the screen.
We pray this blesses you!
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
Here's how you can connect with Elizabeth,
Podcast: Digging From Darkness Living in Light, on multiple platforms
@elizabethspraggins on YouTube
@alljoyinspired on Twitch, Rumble, Twitter
To watch this interview on YouTube click here, https://youtu.be/N2FbjR57ApI
Related Episodes:
Episode 04. Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery
Episode 16. “It’s Just Porn, What’s The Big Deal?” And 4 Other Lies We Tell Ourselves To Justify Viewing Pornography
Episode 17. ” Is My Spouse A Porn Addict? 13 Clues To Help Expose Compulsive Sexual Behavior
Episode 18. Feeling Like I’m Not Enough. What If Pornography Is Not My True Addiction?
Next Steps:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review.
✔️If you have a question for Johnny and/or Emily, you can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Monday Sep 18, 2023
Monday Sep 18, 2023
As a fallen human race, we tend to compare ourselves to others in many ways, the way people look, what kind of clothes they wear or car they drive, what job they have or what kind of house and neighborhood they live in. This comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy or pridefulness. I imagine most, if not all of us, have or have had some degree of comparison working against us in how we feel about ourselves.
Today we are going to explore the feeling of not being enough and how the destructive practice of comparison shaped my view of my self-worth before the discovery of my husband’s sexual betrayal and then after it all came to light and how it slowly eroded my personal identity throughout my life. So, grab your favorite beverage, buckle up and get ready for some real transparency.
We pray this blesses you,
Emily and Johnny Spigelmire
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
Resources:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
Related Episodes:
Episode 04. Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery
Episode 18. Feeling Like I’m Not Enough. What If Pornography Is Not My True Addiction?
Next Steps:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review.
✔️If you have a question for Johnny and/or Emily, you can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Beyond Broken Vows
Hello Beloved,
You may have been betrayed by your spouse or you may be the one who has betrayed your spouse through pornography use or even extra-marital relationships.
God loves you both!
We are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been on the painful road of sexual betrayal and addiction, but our marriage has been redeemed by the miraculous power of Jesus Christ.
Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But with God's help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too.
So, if you are ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and get ready to be encouraged!