Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
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Dear Betrayed,
Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had?
Dear Betrayer,
Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and you would lose everything if/when you came clean?
Beloved, do you both feel like your marriage is over?
Well, you’re right. That marriage full of secrets and lies IS over. But now there is hope for an honest and transparent marriage - one full of trust, safety, connection, forgiveness, acceptance, and intimacy that you’ve never known before. Bold statement, right? You may be thinking, “No way!” That’s okay. We understand…
Hi, we are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been where you are...
As a result of adultery fueled by pornography, the marriage vows we had exchanged as starry-eyed newlyweds and had worked so hard to keep were eventually shattered. We’ve been through hell and back. But we are here, together, to let you know that this devastation we experienced was actually a gift.
Of course, we didn’t see it that way at first and you probably don’t either. But, through a commitment to recovery, our faith in God, and our hope for redemption, we set out on a journey of healing, and we can’t wait to share what we’ve learned with you. We now have a marriage that continually blows our minds, and we give God all the glory!
So, if you’re ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us on a journey of faith as we talk through difficult questions like;
Is there hope for our marriage?
Can I fix all the damage I’ve done?
Can I ever trust again?
Is true intimacy even possible?
We will also do deep dives into the topics of:
* Isolation
* Guilt and Shame
* Anger
* Rejection
* Addiction
* Trauma
* Body Image
* Triggers
* Communication
* And more…
Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But, with God’s help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too.
You can connect with us at:
support@beyondbrokenvows.com
https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com/
https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com/
We would love to be part of your journey to healing and wholeness!
Listen on:
Episodes
Monday Nov 17, 2025
Monday Nov 17, 2025
The aftermath of sexual betrayal is a complete upheaval of a marriage’s foundation. It doesn’t just damage trust—it systematically dismantles it, leaving a wife questioning her entire reality. The world she knew is gone, replaced by a landscape of pain, confusion, and profound uncertainty.
For husbands who have broken our marriage vows, this new reality teaches us a critical truth: trust is not a default setting. It's more like a delicate structure that must be painstakingly rebuilt, day by day, through deliberate and verifiable action. By committing to clear and honest actions, we can begin to mend our own broken integrity.
More importantly, it lays down a new, solid groundwork, giving our wives something tangible to base or even contemplate trusting us again.
We are finishing up our series today, so if you haven't listened to the previous episodes, we recommend going back to the beginning of this series with episode 127 to get the full context.
Today we’re going to unpack the last three markers that can give a recovering husband actionable steps toward trustworthiness and give his wife a clearer picture of what a trustworthy man looks like.
A trustworthy husband is a man of integrity
A trustworthy husband has and works a recovery plan
A trustworthy husband is a servant leader
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💚TIP JAR If this episode brought you hope or help, please leave us a little tip to help us keep our content ad-free!
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 49. Sobriety vs. Recovery After Porn-Fueled Infidelity
Episode 130. 12 Markers of a Trustworthy Husband (Markers 7, 8, and 9)
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Nov 10, 2025
Monday Nov 10, 2025
Today we honor our veterans who defended our land, people, and way of life—a commitment reflecting a biblical understanding of nationhood. The military is a God-ordained institution for maintaining order (Romans 13), and honoring veterans acknowledges this divine role.
Their sacrifice secured our religious freedom, allowing us to worship and spread the Gospel. A strong national defense protects our Christian civilization, as strength preserves peace for faith to flourish. The military upholds crucial biblical virtues like courage and duty, which are essential for national survival.
We remember veterans’ moral courage under fire and their steadfast faith. We must pray for and support those suffering from wounds, both visible and invisible, fulfilling the church’s duty to minister to these modern-day centurions. They embody Christ’s ultimate teaching: “Greater love has no one than this, to lay down one’s life for his friends.”
Johnny is a veteran and he recounts some highlights from his navel service and the emotional wounds he received as he served.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💚TIP JAR If this episode brought you hope or help, please leave us a little tip to help us keep our content ad-free!
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 129. 12 Markers of a Trustworthy Husband (Markers 4, 5, and 6)
Episode 130. 12 Markers of a Trustworthy Husband (Markers 7, 8, and 9)
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Nov 03, 2025
Monday Nov 03, 2025
The devastation of sexual betrayal leaves no part of a marriage untouched. It obliterates the very trust the relationship was built upon.
For the spouse who discovers the lies and hidden double life, it’s as if the floor has vanished beneath their feet. Their entire understanding of reality is fractured in an instant, leaving them disoriented and questioning everything they thought was true.
And husbands who have been unfaithful are learning a difficult lesson: trust cannot be assumed; it must be actively built. We are realizing that we must be transparent in very practical and visible ways in order to be seen as trustworthy. Our commitment to daily trustworthiness does more than just rebuild our own damaged integrity. It creates a new, stable foundation, offering our wives a genuine reason to consider the possibility of trusting again.
Today we are going to go over the next three markers for becoming a trustworthy husband:
7. A trustworthy husband protects all devices
8. A trustworthy husband makes all devices accessible to his wife
9. A trustworthy husband shares location and travel plans
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💚TIP JAR If this episode brought you hope or help, please leave us a little tip to help us keep our content ad-free!
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 77. 4 Practical Steps for Vigilance in Recovery from Porn-Fueled
Episode 92. Dying to Self: Transformational Moments in Recovery from Sexual Betrayal
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Oct 27, 2025
Monday Oct 27, 2025
Sexual betrayal destroys all trust in a marriage. When the lies and double life of an unfaithful husband (or wife) come to light, the betrayed spouse has no solid ground to stand on. What was real is instantly shattered and nothing is clear anymore.
It can leave an unfaithful spouse struggling for a way to regain the trust that was selfishly tossed aside. Trust is earned - not expected just by virtue of staying married.
But when trust is lost, trustworthiness displayed daily will not only help to restore personal integrity, but it can also pave the way for a betrayed spouse to consider trusting again.
Last week, we did a deep dive into the first three of twelve markers of a trustworthy husband; he is transparent, vulnerable, and rigorously honest, has no secrets from his wife, and initiates difficult conversations. There was a lot packed into that episode so if you missed it we encourage you to go back and listen to episode 128.
Today we are going to unpack the next three markers of a trustworthy husband:
A trustworthy husband listens to understand.
A trustworthy husband apologizes to help his wife heal.
A trustworthy husband prioritizes his wife above all other people.
Grab a pumpkin spiced something and tuck in for a revealing look into our recovery process as we discovered how a track record of trustworthiness helped ear back trust in our marriage.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💚TIP JAR If this episode brought you hope or help, please leave us a little tip to help us keep our content ad-free!
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology
Episode 52. What Is His Response To Her BIG Emotions After Porn-Fueled Infidelity?
Episode 66. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #2 Prioritize Her
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Oct 20, 2025
Monday Oct 20, 2025
When trust has been shattered after marital infidelity is revealed through either discovery or confession, what hope does a repentant husband have for regaining his wife’s trust? Will she ever be able to trust him again?
These are common questions many couples ask as they sift through the rubble of what was once considered to be a happy, loving, and committed marriage.
Fortunately, there is an answer to this difficult question because when unfaithful husbands destroy trust in their marriage, there is a hope of restoring this broken part of the relationship by showing up daily as "trustworthy".
On last week’s episode, we introduced the 12 markers for becoming a trustworthy husband.
On today's show we will dive deeper into the first three markers of a trustworthy husband.
A trustworthy husband is transparent, vulnerable, and rigorously honest.
A trustworthy husband has no secrets from his wife.
A trustworthy husband initiates difficult conversations.
Join us for a candid conversation about our experience with broken trust and trustworthiness displayed after infidelity was discovered in our marriage.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💚TIP JAR If this episode brought you hope or help, please leave us a little tip to help us keep our content ad-free!
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 92. Dying to Self: Transformational Moments in Recovery from Sexual Betrayal
Episode 111. 111 | Need a Full Therapeutic Disclosure After Infidelity? (Part 1)
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Oct 13, 2025
Monday Oct 13, 2025
When infidelity shatters the reality of a perceived happy marriage and reveals a foundation crumbling under the weight of lies and deception, one of the most difficult losses is the trust that was instinctively given when exchanging vows to love, honor, and cherish one another.
This loss of trust can be more painful than betrayal itself. It can leave a wife on unsteady ground with little hope that any trust for her husband can be regained.
In today’s show, we’ll discuss what the loss of trust feels like from a betrayed wife's perspective and also explore the hope an unfaithful husband has for re-gaining the precious trust that was once so lovingly shared at the beginning of their journey together.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💚TIP JAR If this episode brought you hope or help, please leave us a little tip to help us keep our content ad-free!
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 64. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs From Her Recovering Husband (Series)
Episode 65. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #1 See Her Pain
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Oct 06, 2025
Monday Oct 06, 2025
Have you ever thought about how the toughest barriers holding you back might not be out there in the world, but instead created in the hidden corners of your own mind?
For the man battling sex addiction, the compulsive behavior is often just the symptom of a deeper problem: a faulty belief system built on a foundation of shame, self-loathing, and the unshakable conviction that you are, at your core, unforgivable. This is the silent war that can rage long after the acting out stops.
In this episode, we’re going to take a deeper look at the mental traps—the negative I Am statement we tell ourselves and the isolating shame—that keep you trapped in a cycle of self-punishment.
We’ll talk about how this internal battle doesn’t just sabotage your inner peace, but systematically undermines your marriage and every good thing in your life.
Join us as Johnny opens up about his personal journey, sharing how he began to forgive himself and embrace the powerful truth that he is truly forgiven—by God, by Emily, and himself.
This conversation promises to be enlightening and supportive as we explore the path to healing together!
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💚TIP JAR If this episode brought you hope or help, please leave us a little tip to help us keep our content ad-free!
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 35. Recovery Step 6: Ready to Move on From Sexual Integrity Issues? 4 Questions to Help you Decide
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Sep 29, 2025
Monday Sep 29, 2025
Navigating the aftermath of a husband’s sexual betrayal is a complex and deeply painful journey for a wife.
While a natural desire to support his recovery may exist, it often clashes with powerful, protective emotions born from the trauma itself.
The act of showing compassion can feel fraught with risk, not as a sign of a lack of love, but as a defense mechanism against further pain and a means of preserving her own fractured sense of safety and self-worth.
This hesitation is not a character flaw but a rational response to profound injury. The wife’s fears are typically rooted in a need to validate her own experience, guard her heart from additional harm, and ensure that her husband’s path to recovery is built on genuine accountability rather than easy forgiveness.
Understanding these fears is a crucial step in healing for both spouses. Join us as Emily tells the story of her journey from a lack of compassion to showing compassion to Johnny after his sexual betrayal in our marriage.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💚TIP JAR If this episode brought you hope or help, please leave us a little tip to help us keep our content ad-free!
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 72. Praising God While in the Storm of Sexual Betrayal and Porn-Fueled Infidelity
Episode 114. "I Know the Plans I Have for You" After Sexual Betrayal Shatters Your Marriage
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Sep 22, 2025
Monday Sep 22, 2025
When you hear the word “honesty,” what comes to mind? Is it a simple binary—you either tell the truth or you don’t?
Or do you see it on a sliding scale, where a “little white lie” is a 2 and a deliberate, premeditated deception is a 10?
If your marriage has been shattered by porn-fueled infidelity, you know the brutal truth: the lies and deception surrounding the acting out are often more destructive to trust than the acts themselves.
In this powerful second part of our conversation, We recap the five ways we lie from last week—commission, omission, deflection, justifying, and gaslighting—and dive deep into how embracing rigorous honesty can pave the way for trust and healing.
Join us as we unpack what this kind of honesty looks like, how to attain it, and how it impacted our recovery process.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💚TIP JAR If this episode brought you hope or help, please leave us a little tip to help us keep our content ad-free!
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 109. Healing Through Honesty: A View Into a Marriage Transformed by Truth (with Sathiya Sam)
Episode 123. The One Thing Worse Than Infidelity in Marriage
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Sep 15, 2025
Monday Sep 15, 2025
In marriages wounded by sexual betrayal, the deepest injury isn't the act itself, but the web of lies that concealed it.
It’s a staggering reality that the concept of honesty is not as straightforward as many would like to believe.
Lies can come in various forms, from outright falsehoods to subtle omissions and misleading statements, all of which can have profound effects on trust in relationships.
What is the key to complete honesty, and how can we foster openness and transparency in our relationships?We are celebrating our 38th anniversary over the next week so we are sharing with you one of our most listened to podcast episodes.
The topic is LYING.
We will discuss five different ways we lie, specifically relating to broken covenant in marriage through porn-fueled infidelity.
You will hear some intimate details from our painful journey to freedom and healing as we navigated the deception uncovered in our marriage.
Our victorious story serves as a testament to the fact that breaking the cycle of dishonesty is not only possible but essential for building a solid foundation for safety and trust leading to true intimacy.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💚TIP JAR If this episode brought you hope or help, please leave us a little tip to help us keep our content ad-free!
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 07. 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 1)
Episode 08. 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 2)
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Beyond Broken Vows
Hello Beloved,
You may have been betrayed by your spouse or you may be the one who has betrayed your spouse through pornography use or even extra-marital relationships.
God loves you both!
We are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been on the painful road of sexual betrayal and addiction, but our marriage has been redeemed by the miraculous power of Jesus Christ.
Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But with God's help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too.
So, if you are ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and get ready to be encouraged!