Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
***Top 1.5% Global Podcast*** Dear Betrayed, Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had? Dear Betrayer, Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and you would lose everything if/when you came clean? Beloved, do you both feel like your marriage is over? Well, you’re right. That marriage full of secrets and lies IS over. But now there is hope for an honest and transparent marriage - one full of trust, safety, connection, forgiveness, acceptance, and intimacy that you’ve never known before. Bold statement, right? You may be thinking, “No way!” That’s okay. We understand… Hi, we are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been where you are... As a result of adultery fueled by pornography, the marriage vows we had exchanged as starry-eyed newlyweds and had worked so hard to keep were eventually shattered. We’ve been through hell and back. But we are here, together, to let you know that this devastation we experienced was actually a gift. Of course, we didn’t see it that way at first and you probably don’t either. But, through a commitment to recovery, our faith in God, and our hope for redemption, we set out on a journey of healing, and we can’t wait to share what we’ve learned with you. We now have a marriage that continually blows our minds, and we give God all the glory! So, if you’re ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us on a journey of faith as we talk through difficult questions like; Is there hope for our marriage? Can I fix all the damage I’ve done? Can I ever trust again? Is true intimacy even possible? We will also do deep dives into the topics of: * Isolation * Guilt and Shame * Anger * Rejection * Addiction * Trauma * Body Image * Triggers * Communication * And more… Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But, with God’s help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too. You can connect with us at: support@beyondbrokenvows.com https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com/ https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com/ We would love to be part of your journey to healing and wholeness!
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Episodes
Monday Jul 29, 2024
Monday Jul 29, 2024
Has the reality of porn-fueled infidelity in your marriage come to light? Have you both decided to stay together and want to do your part to save your marriage?
Husband, have you decided to go all in on making it right? Are willing to do whatever it takes to recover from the devastating consequences of your bad decisions, but moving forward in your relationship with your wife seems difficult?
Wife, are you hurt and confused about how this could have possibly happened? Are you grieving the loss of the marriage you thought you had? Do desperately need to see changes in your husband, but can’t find the words to communicate what you need from him?
We understand. At this raw and painful time, husbands likely don’t know what their wives need from them, and wives may not be able to articulate their needs in the aftermath of sexual betrayal.
On today’s show we are going to introduce 5 areas where a willing husband can learn to meet his wife’s deepest needs and how a broken-hearted wife can find her voice.
Listen in as we share with you what we have learned through our own journey of healing from sexual betrayal.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 05. The Effects of Infidelity and How We Made the Decision to Stay Married After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 52. Recovery Step 1: Hooked on Porn? Admitting Helplessness Over Pornography’s Pull
Episode 54. Betrayed Wives Experience Profound Loss, But Do Cheating Husbands?
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Jul 22, 2024
Monday Jul 22, 2024
It wasn’t until I stopped using pornography altogether and the fog lifted that I learned just how much effect it had had on my brain. The further I got away from the porn and the more days of sobriety I achieved, I found that I was able to think more clearly and process the difficult truth of my sex-addiction. Understanding porn’s effect on my brain helped to explain so many of my actions, or lack thereof, before I was finally discovered and came out of the shadows.
Here are just 4 shocking statistics about pornography use around the world:
28,258 users are watching pornography every second.
$3,075.64 is spent on porn every second on the Internet.
88% of scenes in porn films contain acts of physical aggression, and
49% of scenes contain verbal aggression.
Today on our show, we will talk about the reality of porn-brain and the effect continual use of pornography has on our cognitive abilities, reasoning, and relationships.
So, buckle up, folks! We're pulling back the curtain on the damaging effects of watching porn - the things that many people might not know or just don't want to talk about. So, grab your favorite drink and let's get started!
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Your Brain On Porn (e-book)
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 16. ”It’s Just Porn, What’s The Big Deal?” And 4 Other Lies We Tell Ourselves To Justify Viewing Pornography
Episode 20. From Porn Queen To Child of God Now On Mission To Help Others Find Freedom with Elizabeth Spraggins
Or Watch Episode 20 on YouTube!
Episode 21. Breaking Free: How To Escape the Grip of Porn Addiction with Emmanuel and Bekah Guarino
Episode 26. Recovery Step 1: Hooked on Porn? Admitting Helplessness Over Pornography’s Pull
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Jul 15, 2024
Monday Jul 15, 2024
How was your week? Did it go as planned? This week, a verse really hit home for us in a big way...
We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9
Imagine this - just as we were about to hit the button to record today’s podcast episode, a sudden interruption caught us off guard. Johnny received a private message that sparked a whirlwind of emotions and confusion. It was from a woman Emily didn't know.
Talk about getting triggered!
It turned out to be a false alarm – phew! But, after the dust settled, we decided to share this story with you instead of our originally planned episode on porn-brain, which we will have for you next week.
Life has a funny way of throwing us curveballs that can leave us feeling off balance and disheartened. But even amid chaos, there is always a path forward for those who trust in the Lord.
So, get comfortable and settle in for a true-life story of an unexpected event that could have ended in disaster - but, God.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 05. The Effects of Infidelity and How We Made the Decision to Stay Married After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology
Episode 13. His Triggers, Her Triggers – 4 Steps For Dealing With Triggers While Healing From Infidelity
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Jul 08, 2024
Monday Jul 08, 2024
After discovering your spouse had betrayed you sexually, what was your initial reaction? We bet it wasn’t joy. We know that there are many volatile emotions that come on the heels of that shocking and devastating news - among them pain, anger, and confusion.
As you try to make sense of the senseless in your new unwanted reality, you may find yourself desperately longing for relief from the ever-present despair that threatens to overwhelm you.
On today’s show, we are going to explore joy. What is joy? Is it different than happiness? Why would you even consider joy after betrayal? Does this sound impossible?
While it may seem counterintuitive, we believe that even in the midst of the most painful and destructive event of your life, joy is still possible. Intrigued?
Well, pour yourself a cool, summertime beverage and settle in as we unpack this thought-provoking topic of how and why to choose joy after betrayal.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 02. Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me
Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 12. His Adultery Shattered My Reality. How Do I Know What’s Real?
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Jul 01, 2024
Monday Jul 01, 2024
Many of us have heard the phrase “Freedom Isn’t Free” and if you have not heard it, you likely understand the idea behind it knowing that in order to gain freedom of any kind some form of sacrifice needs to be made. And sacrifices are not called sacrifices because they are easy.
Are you feeling like you’re trapped in a never-ending cycle of anger, confusion, shame, and pain? Do you long for freedom from your current circumstance?
In today’s show, we will discuss how freedom to live in a new and intimate marriage can come at a high cost. Are you willing to pay it?
So, grab yourself a summertime drink, like a cool Mint Julep, and listen in for a compelling look at the importance of gaining freedom in your marriage and how to maintain it.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter to book a free Discovery Call in June. insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 05. The Effects of Infidelity and How We Made the Decision to Stay Married After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 59. Is It Over? Take These 5 Steps to Save Your Marriage After Adultery
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Jun 24, 2024
Monday Jun 24, 2024
The day you never imagined you’d ever live to see has come and gone; D-Day. You have discovered sexual betrayal in your marriage. Whether you found out or your spouse confessed, you can’t believe that this has happened. You may be asking yourself, Is my marriage over? Is it worth saving? Is it possible to move forward?
Today we are going to answer those questions from our own perspective. Spoiler alert, we did make the choice to stay married and we are so glad we did! Even though it has been the hardest and most painful journey we have ever embarked on, it has been worth it to experience the safety, trust and true intimacy created out of the ashes of a marriage destroyed by porn-fueled infidelity.
We are going to outline 5 steps that will help you receive healing from your trauma and save your marriage. Please stay with us to the end of this episode for a special limited opportunity.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter to book a free Discovery Call in June. insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 05. The Effects of Infidelity and How We Made the Decision to Stay Married After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 25. Persistent Sexual Integrity Issues in Marriage. Do Recovery Programs Really Work?
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Jun 17, 2024
Monday Jun 17, 2024
Do you ever stop and wonder why? Why did this happen? Have you lamented, “Can anything good ever come of it?”
When the discovery of sexual betrayal threatens to destroy your marriage, you may think you won’t survive it. Then, if you have made the choice to stay and do the hard work of recovery, you start to see God working in your life and marriage to bring hope and healing. A little further down the road on this journey, you might see how much God has blessed you and wonder why others in this situation can’t seem to recover.
Today we will answer those questions and possibly give you a bigger vision of God’s greater purpose in our suffering. Grab a beverage and join us for a hopeful conversation.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter to book a free Discovery Call in June. insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 05. The Effects of Infidelity and How We Made the Decision to Stay Married After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 24. Would You Marry Your Betraying Spouse Again? Renewing Vows After Porn-Fueled Infidelity. This Time...Mean It
Episode 42. Recovery Step 12: A Great Awakening - 7 Ways to Serve Others While Healing From Sex Addiction
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Jun 10, 2024
Monday Jun 10, 2024
What is isolation, and where does it truly begin?
Imagine a lone animal in the wild, separated from its herd. We've all seen those heart-wrenching documentary scenes where isolation turns them into easy prey. Nature's example is a powerful reminder of a harsh reality: when we isolate ourselves from our community, we become vulnerable to the schemes and traps of our Enemy who is actively looking to devour us. (1 peter 5:8)
In isolation, destructive and addictive behaviors often take root, dragging us deeper into darkness. But there's hope! How can we break free from the chains of isolation and reclaim our lives?
Grab your favorite drink and join us for this compelling discussion about the perils of isolation and the practical steps to emerge from its oppressive grip. Together, we'll explore how to reconnect, rebuild, and thrive once again.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter to book free Discovery Call in June. insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Sex Addict Self-Assessment Questionnaire
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 18. Feeling Like I’m Not Enough. What If Pornography Is Not My True Addiction?
Episode 26. Recovery Step 1: Hooked on Porn? Admitting Helplessness Over Pornography’s Pull
Episode 42. Recovery Step 12: A Great Awakening - 7 Ways to Serve Others While Healing From Sex Addiction
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Please leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Jun 03, 2024
Monday Jun 03, 2024
As a recovering sex-addict, I now find comfort in knowing that my addiction was real and that there is hope through recovery that I will not have to live the rest of my life as a “dis-integrated” man, always trying to hide myself from others based on a lie that if they really knew what I was doing, they would reject me.
But I didn’t always understand that I truly was a sex-addict. It wasn’t until the idea was expressed to me by someone else that I made the choice to face the reality that sex-addiction could be a present and active part of my life. Having accepted this as a possibility, I sought out help for myself and ultimately found recovery from sex-addiction through a 12-step program.
In today’s show, we’re going to share some resources to help you discover for yourself if sex-addiction is the destructive force lurking in the darkness of your mind. If so, there is a way out!
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage strategies, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Sex Addict Self-Assessment Questionnaire
Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes, Ph.d
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 16. "It’s Just Porn, What’s The Big Deal?” And 4 Other Lies We Tell Ourselves To Justify Viewing Pornography
Episode 17. Is My Spouse A Porn Addict? 13 Clues To Help Expose Compulsive Sexual Behavior
Episode 25. Persistent Sexual Integrity Issues in Marriage. Do Recovery Programs Really Work?
Episode 26. Recovery Step 1: Hooked on Porn? Admitting Helplessness Over Pornography’s Pull
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday May 27, 2024
Monday May 27, 2024
Have you ever felt like God was nudging you towards something challenging in life? Maybe a call to step out of your comfort zone and venture into the unknown. It can be intimidating, right? Would you be willing to take that leap of faith and trust that God has your best interests at heart, even when the path ahead seems uncertain? If you have taken that leap, have you experienced God's faithfulness along the way?
Well, we certainly have, and today we want to share our journey with you. It's a story of moving from betrayal and brokenness to healing and hope that has God’s fingerprints all over it. The twists and turns have been surprising, and we are continually in awe at the Lord’s provision every step of the way.
Our podcast is one year old today, and you are a huge reason for it. So, grab a refreshing drink and join us as we recount how we got here, where we are now, and the future ahead with God leading the way. Let’s celebrate together!
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
The Healing Apology – Episode #10 (request your copy at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 01. ”Why Are We Talking About Betrayal?” A Q&A with the Betrayed and the Betrayer
Episode 04. Sharing Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery
Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology
Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 50. Are You Thriving or Just Surviving in Marriage After Sexual Betrayal
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Beyond Broken Vows
Hello Beloved,
You may have been betrayed by your spouse or you may be the one who has betrayed your spouse through pornography use or even extra-marital relationships.
God loves you both!
We are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been on the painful road of sexual betrayal and addiction, but our marriage has been redeemed by the miraculous power of Jesus Christ.
Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But with God's help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too.
So, if you are ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and get ready to be encouraged!