Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
***Top 1.5% Global Podcast*** Dear Betrayed, Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had? Dear Betrayer, Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and you would lose everything if/when you came clean? Beloved, do you both feel like your marriage is over? Well, you’re right. That marriage full of secrets and lies IS over. But now there is hope for an honest and transparent marriage - one full of trust, safety, connection, forgiveness, acceptance, and intimacy that you’ve never known before. Bold statement, right? You may be thinking, “No way!” That’s okay. We understand… Hi, we are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been where you are... As a result of adultery fueled by pornography, the marriage vows we had exchanged as starry-eyed newlyweds and had worked so hard to keep were eventually shattered. We’ve been through hell and back. But we are here, together, to let you know that this devastation we experienced was actually a gift. Of course, we didn’t see it that way at first and you probably don’t either. But, through a commitment to recovery, our faith in God, and our hope for redemption, we set out on a journey of healing, and we can’t wait to share what we’ve learned with you. We now have a marriage that continually blows our minds, and we give God all the glory! So, if you’re ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us on a journey of faith as we talk through difficult questions like; Is there hope for our marriage? Can I fix all the damage I’ve done? Can I ever trust again? Is true intimacy even possible? We will also do deep dives into the topics of: * Isolation * Guilt and Shame * Anger * Rejection * Addiction * Trauma * Body Image * Triggers * Communication * And more… Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But, with God’s help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too. You can connect with us at: support@beyondbrokenvows.com https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com/ https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com/ We would love to be part of your journey to healing and wholeness!
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Episodes
Monday May 20, 2024
Monday May 20, 2024
Does a cheating husband who has chosen the path of repentance and recovery experience any losses? The short answer is yes. But it may not be evident to a betrayed wife, especially when stacked up against her seemingly infinite losses. She may not see many tangible losses or consequences for his infidelity.
Today, we are going to outline some perceived perks received by the husband stemming from extra-marital relationships and contrast them with losses his wife experiences due to his betrayal. We’ll also address a question from one of our Beyond Broken Vows Insiders as she wonders, “Are there truly any significant losses for the betrayer and if so, what are they?” You may find that you identify with some of these “perks” and/or losses from your own experience with sexual betrayal.
So, get comfy and settle in for a deeply personal conversation about loss, but also the hope we have in Christ in the midst of pain and injustice.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
The Healing Apology (request your copy at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 09. I’m So Angry! How I Overcame Anger from Sexual Betrayal in 3 Simple But Not Easy Steps
Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 22. How Long Will This Hurt? Experiencing The 5 Stages of Grief Through the Lens of Sexual Betrayal
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday May 13, 2024
Monday May 13, 2024
One of our listeners wrote in to ask a question about how to help her friend who is going through the pain of sexual betrayal. First, we just want to say how grateful we are for those of you who take time to write us and share what’s on your heart. We love to get questions that we can answer from our experience. Please keep them coming!
Today we will discuss two different types of friends in this scenario and the best way for each of them to help a friend going through this difficult journey.
So, grab a refreshing beverage and join us as we unpack what it looks like to be a good friend.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
The Healing Apology (request your copy at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 09. I’m So Angry! How I Overcame Anger from Sexual Betrayal in 3 Simple But Not Easy Steps
Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 22. How Long Will This Hurt? Experiencing The 5 Stages of Grief Through the Lens of Sexual Betrayal
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday May 06, 2024
Monday May 06, 2024
After betrayal, big emotions are a reality. When expressed well and received well, they can be a catalyst for healing and growth.
Today we will be talking about big emotions, what they are and how to handle them properly. We will also give you insight to the benefits of working through big emotions together to promote connection and intimacy.
We’re excited to share our perspective on this topic as we have lived it and learned from it. So pop in your earbud and join us for a riveting conversation about BIG emotions.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
The Healing Apology (request your copy at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 09. I’m So Angry! How I Overcame Anger from Sexual Betrayal in 3 Simple But Not Easy Steps
Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology
Episode 13. His Triggers, Her Triggers – 4 Steps For Dealing With Triggers While Healing From Infidelity
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Apr 29, 2024
Monday Apr 29, 2024
My betrayed sisters, if you were given the opportunity to learn the truth about your spouse’s sexual betrayal, would you take it?
My fellow betrayers, if there was a safe and judgement free environment where you could get all your secrets out and alleviate your burden of shame, would you go for it?
Would you both be willing to do all it takes to reveal and know the truth?
Join us today as we give an overview of a very effective process that can give a marriage broken by sexual betrayal a really good chance for healing and recovery.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
The Healing Apology (request your copy at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 07. 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 1)
Episode 08. 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 2)
Episode 32. Recovery Step 5: What Have I Done? Admitting How My Porn Addiction Hurt Myself and Others
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Apr 22, 2024
Monday Apr 22, 2024
Is your marriage thriving after sexual betrayal? Maybe not. Maybe you are just surviving.
You might just be at the beginning of the journey to healing and still don’t even know if you want to stay married. Maybe you and your spouse have been working hard on recovering from this devastation, but you aren’t really connecting in a fulfilling way yet. Or, maybe you have reached a point as a couple where you feel like you have a brand-new marriage, and it’s better than the one you had before betrayal and addiction.
We fall into this last category, but that doesn’t mean we don’t still have very hard days. Can a marriage thrive even while experiencing recurring painful moments from the past? And might this be a marker for how well a marriage is thriving? We'll let you in on one of our recent really hard days and what it taught us.
Our prayer is that everyone listening to our podcast will eventually find the peace and joy of a marriage redeemed by God and made new. It is not easy getting here or staying here, but it is so worth the effort!
Join us today as we have a vulnerable conversation about thriving vs. surviving in marriage post sexual betrayal.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
The Healing Apology (request your copy at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology
Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 23. 7 Steps to True Intimacy After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 48. Closing the Gap - 3 Steps to Sexual Intimacy
Episode 49. Sobriety vs. Recovery After Porn-Fueled Infidelity
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Apr 15, 2024
Monday Apr 15, 2024
Wives, has your husband stopped his acting out behavior and is even showing some behaviors that you appreciate, but you still feel like he isn’t a changed man? Do you still feel the distance between you? Like he doesn’t really see you?
Husbands, are you doing all the things your wife has requested and feel like you are moving forward in recovery, but she isn’t responding the way you hope or expect?
Today we are going to talk about an aspect of sexual betrayal recovery we’ve experienced and are now seeing in many of our clients and hearing it from our listeners who write in…Husbands who are sober, but not actively recovering. What’s the difference?
Join us as we unravel this common and sometimes confusing issue in marriages trying to recover from porn-fueled infidelity.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 27. Recovery Step 2: Porn Making You Crazy? Believing God Can Restore Your Sanity
Episode 31. Recovery Step 4: Who Am I? A Fearless Search - The Origin of My Sex Addiction
Episode 38. Recovery Step 9: Become an Action Hero! Righting the Wrongs of Our Destructive Sexual Behavior
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Apr 08, 2024
Monday Apr 08, 2024
Have you been on the healing journey after sexual betrayal and you and your spouse are ready to level up? Do you want to experience more true intimacy?
Today we will be talking about 3 simple steps to take that are not easy because it will involve some risk. But, if you are looking for intimacy that goes far beyond anything that our world has to offer, it’s so worth it!
So, come spend a little time with us to hear how you can grow closer to your spouse, even if you have already made great progress. There’s much more that God has in store for you!
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology
Episode 23. 7 Steps to True Intimacy After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 24. Would You Marry Your Betraying Spouse Again? Renewing Vows After Porn-Fueled Infidelity. This Time...Mean It.
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Apr 01, 2024
Monday Apr 01, 2024
Hopefully you’ve heard both sides of our sexual intimacy story, or lack thereof, in episodes 45 and 46. If not, we encourage you to listen to those to gain a better understanding of how we got to the place where our broken marriage got new life after God intervened and recovery began.
Now, we share a wonderfully intimate sexual life together, but it wasn’t easy getting here. On today’s show we will run down the progression of our sex life from Discovery Day and Disclosure Day when Johnny confessed his regular porn use and extra-marital relationships, to our current emotionally safe and sexually satisfying marriage through recovery.
Grab a beverage and listen in for an uplifting conversation about God’s redemptive work in a marriage where both spouses are fully surrendered to Him and each other.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe. Ask a question or leave a review.
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 40. Valentine's Day Fails and Favorites Before and After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 45. Intimacy with a Sex-Addict in Marriage
Episode 46. Sexuality as a Sex-Addict in Marriage
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Mar 25, 2024
Monday Mar 25, 2024
Men, do you have a secret relationship with pornography and/or others outside of your marriage? Are you consumed by your thought life and hiding things from your wife that you don’t want her to know? Is sex with your wife becoming challenging, difficult, or just too much effort? Do you feel misunderstood? Are you afraid that if she knew everything about you, she would leave you?
Last week, Emily shared her perspective on our sexual relationship through the years up until Discovery Day and Disclosure Day when Johnny came clean of all his secrets. She didn’t know what she didn’t know, which made this area of our life progressively challenging.
Today Johnny is going to share how he viewed our sex life, not knowing he was an addict, but knowing he was hiding secret sin from Emily.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 03. His Story: I Betrayed My Wife and My Moral Values
Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology
Episode 18. Feeling Like I’m Not Enough. What If Pornography Is Not My True Addiction?
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Mar 18, 2024
Monday Mar 18, 2024
Ladies, have you spent years trying to connect with your husband in a meaningful and fulfilling way only to find that you just couldn’t get there no matter what you did? Has it ever occurred to you that you may be trying to experience intimacy with a sex-addict? Seems oxymoronic, right? Intimacy with a sex- addict. We think so as well. But how many wives are living this nightmare without knowing why? Over the next 3 weeks we will be sharing our perspectives on the pitfalls of trying to achieve intimacy in marriage when sex-addiction is a behind-the-scenes factor.
Join us as we uncover a picture of sexual disfunction and intimacy anorexia in marriage where porn use and adultery are present.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 02. Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me
Episode 12. His Adultery Shattered My Reality. How Do I Know What’s Real?
Episode 17. Is My Spouse A Porn Addict? 13 Clues To Help Expose Compulsive Sexual Behavior
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Beyond Broken Vows
Hello Beloved,
You may have been betrayed by your spouse or you may be the one who has betrayed your spouse through pornography use or even extra-marital relationships.
God loves you both!
We are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been on the painful road of sexual betrayal and addiction, but our marriage has been redeemed by the miraculous power of Jesus Christ.
Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But with God's help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too.
So, if you are ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and get ready to be encouraged!