Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
***Top 1.5% Global Podcast***
Dear Betrayed,
Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had?
Dear Betrayer,
Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and you would lose everything if/when you came clean?
Beloved, do you both feel like your marriage is over?
Well, you’re right. That marriage full of secrets and lies IS over. But now there is hope for an honest and transparent marriage - one full of trust, safety, connection, forgiveness, acceptance, and intimacy that you’ve never known before. Bold statement, right? You may be thinking, “No way!” That’s okay. We understand…
Hi, we are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been where you are...
As a result of adultery fueled by pornography, the marriage vows we had exchanged as starry-eyed newlyweds and had worked so hard to keep were eventually shattered. We’ve been through hell and back. But we are here, together, to let you know that this devastation we experienced was actually a gift.
Of course, we didn’t see it that way at first and you probably don’t either. But, through a commitment to recovery, our faith in God, and our hope for redemption, we set out on a journey of healing, and we can’t wait to share what we’ve learned with you. We now have a marriage that continually blows our minds, and we give God all the glory!
So, if you’re ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us on a journey of faith as we talk through difficult questions like;
Is there hope for our marriage?
Can I fix all the damage I’ve done?
Can I ever trust again?
Is true intimacy even possible?
We will also do deep dives into the topics of:
* Isolation
* Guilt and Shame
* Anger
* Rejection
* Addiction
* Trauma
* Body Image
* Triggers
* Communication
* And more…
Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But, with God’s help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too.
You can connect with us at:
support@beyondbrokenvows.com
https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com/
https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com/
We would love to be part of your journey to healing and wholeness!
Listen on:
Episodes
Monday Jul 21, 2025
Monday Jul 21, 2025
Today we tackle the hardest skill in any marriage - especially after the devastation of sexual betrayal - honest, open communication.
We frame true intimacy as a three-legged stool built on transparency, vulnerability and rigorous honesty, then soften the seat with a cushion of humility so the whole thing doesn’t collapse under the weight of pain and suspicion.
Our goal is to move from theory to practice, from talking about intimacy to living it out daily. That shift requires the right tools. Enter the FANOS Check-In, by Debra Laaser. The acronym FANOS stands for:
Feelings
Affirmations
Needs
Ownership
Struggles/Sobriety.
In this episode, we’ll walk you through how two bruised spouses can sit down, share a safe space on that 3-legged stool, and walk away with clearer hearts, sharper boundaries, and a rebuilt connection.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Emotions Wheel
FANOS CHECK-IN
Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology
Episode 80. 7 Caveats for an Effective Healing Apology
Episode 106. From Furious to Curious: How the ‘Emotions Wheel’ Unlocks Deeper Conversations
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Jul 14, 2025
Monday Jul 14, 2025
Whether you have just recently discovered your spouse’s infidelity or have been working through the recovery process for a while, you are going to want to tune in to today’s episode.
It’s hard to imagine a future where there is honesty, connection, and true intimacy after the marriage vows have been shattered into dust.
But God…
Today we’re exploring what could be possible for your marriage when both partners are fully surrendered to Jesus and do the hard work of recovery.
We are sharing some of the incredible things the Lord did with our marriage in the first two years of recovery to give you some encouragement and hope for yours.
If God can do it for us, he can do it for you. And he wants to! He has a plan... (Jerimiah 29:11)
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 58. Purpose from Pain: Did Sexual Betrayal Destroy God’s Plan for Your Marriage?
Episode 61. 61 | Is Joy Possible After Sexual Betrayal?
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Jul 07, 2025
Monday Jul 07, 2025
Sexual sin—especially porn-fueled infidelity—doesn’t just wound a marriage; it buries it under shame, secrecy, and shattered trust. But just as Jesus called Lazarus out of the grave, He can resurrect even the most broken relationships.
Your marriage may feel like a tomb right now, but Christ specializes in resurrecting dead things.
Today in this hope-filled, and sometimes emotional conversation, we’ll talk about why sexual betrayal feels like a “death” in a marriage—and how Christ offers resurrection from the tomb of our sin. How God uses others to help us move from where we are to where he wants us to be.
Also, Johnny tells the amazing story of the vision God gave him 6 years prior that has been fulfilled his new, StoneRollers Men’s Recovery Group. Brotherhood is God’s lifeline for struggling men. You don’t have to face recovery alone!
If this episode hits home, you don’t have to go it alone. Join this brotherhood of men committed to rolling away the stones in their lives and stepping into life and victory. Write us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com to get your signup links!
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 25. Persistent Sexual Integrity Issues in Marriage. Do Recovery Programs Really Work?
Episode 43. Our 12-Step Series Wrap Up: Which Sex Addiction Recovery Program Is the Best?
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Jun 30, 2025
Monday Jun 30, 2025
The disclosure is done. The secrets are out. Now what?
If you’ve been through Full Therapeutic Disclosure—or if you’re still mustering the courage to start—you know this isn’t the end. It’s the real beginning. Because truth doesn’t just expose the brokenness… it reveals the path forward.
This is the second half of our FTD episode—where we walk you through the final 3 steps of the disclosure process.
The Impact Letter: Her Voice Finally Heard
The Restitution Letter: His Roadmap to Integrity
The Slip & Relapse Plan: Trust Isn’t Blind
FTD doesn’t guarantee your marriage will survive. But it does guarantee this: No more living in the dark.
For the betrayed, it means the power to choose your next step with clarity.
For the betrayer, it means the chance to finally live in truth—even if it costs you everything.
Truth isn’t just where healing starts—it’s where you start living again.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 44. Fearing the Worst? How to Plan for Sex Addiction Slips & Relapses in Your Marriage Steps
Episode 111. Need a Full Therapeutic Disclosure After Infidelity? (Part 1)
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Jun 23, 2025
Monday Jun 23, 2025
Marriage isn’t just a contract—it’s a covenant, a sacred vow before God and man.
But sexual betrayal doesn’t just break trust… it shatters the covenant itself. The foundation is cracked. The vows feel like a lie. And now, both of you are standing in the wreckage—one drowning in grief, the other paralyzed by guilt.
But here’s the truth: You can’t rebuild on broken ground. Before forgiveness, before reconciliation—before even deciding if this marriage can survive—there’s one thing that has to happen. The full, unedited truth. No more shadows. No more secrets. Because a covenant can only be restored where there’s nothing left to hide.
If you’re the betrayed partner, you’re drowning in questions—What else don’t I know? Can I ever trust again?
And if you’re the betrayer, you’re trapped in a prison of your own lies—How do I fix this? Will the truth destroy us?
Here’s the hard reality: without Full Therapeutic Disclosure, neither of you gets to move forward. The betrayed stays stuck in suspicion, and the betrayer stays stuck in shame. But there’s a way out—and it starts with one terrifying, necessary conversation.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 44. Fearing the Worst? How to Plan for Sex Addiction Slips & Relapses in Your Marriage Steps
Episode 51. Full Therapeutic Disclosure: 3 Steps to Healing and Freedom After Sexual Betrayal
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Jun 16, 2025
Monday Jun 16, 2025
Have you ever stumbled upon a quote that just felt like it was made for you? You know, the kind that resonates so deeply with what you’re going through that it seems like a turning point in your journey?
We all encounter those special quotes that cause us to pause and reflect. While we’re not promising that your life will be changed by them, today we’re sharing with you some of our own special sayings—affectionately dubbed BBVisms!
You might even recognize a few from our show or from our coaching sessions over the last couple of years. Not only will you hear some of our (hopefully) memorable sayings; you'll learn the stories behind how we came up with each of them.
Join us for a mix of light-hearted fun and valuable insights as we share seven of our original quotes. We’d love to know if there’s one that you’ve embraced in your recovery journey!
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 09. I’m So Angry! How I Overcame Anger from Sexual Betrayal in 3 Simple But Not Easy Steps
Episode 36 | Recovery Step 7: Holding on to Pride? Humility Before God = Freedom From Pornography
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Tuesday Jun 10, 2025
Tuesday Jun 10, 2025
We’re so excited to share this special episode with you from beautiful Honduras. This one’s close to our hearts—we sat down with our friend Sathiya Sam, from The Man Within Podcast, and got real about our story: the messy, the painful, and the beautiful redemption that came after.
We opened up about everything—our early years, the hard season of betrayal, and how, by God’s grace, we fought our way back to each other. It wasn’t easy, but we learned that true healing is possible, and now we’re passionate about helping other couples walk that same road.
If you’ve been broken by infidelity or just want to hear how honesty, faith, and forgiveness can rebuild a marriage stronger than before, this one’s for you. Trust us—no wound is too deep for God’s restoration.
Grab your coffee (or maybe a tissue), and let’s dive in together.
We hope this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 50. Are You Thriving or Just Surviving in Marriage After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 90. Discovering the Man Within: Sathiya Sam on Overcoming Porn Addiction
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Jun 02, 2025
Monday Jun 02, 2025
In the tumultuous journey of marriage, trust is the cornerstone that holds this covenant union together. But what happens when this trust is shattered by sexual betrayal? How does a betrayed wife comprehend this new reality she never saw coming?
In today’s episode, we dive deep into these questions with the insightful perspectives of Robin Wilson and Christy Bottom, authors of their newly released book, Who is God Now: Hope In God After Betrayal.
Robin experienced the trauma of discovering her husband’s infidelity and has asked the hard questions; why, how, and who are you Lord? Through this painful journey she learned to understand God’s love, trustworthiness, and healing firsthand. Her sister, Christy, walked alongside her on that healing journey, consistently pointing Robin to Jesus and later encouraging her to write.
Whether you're navigating your own journey of healing or seeking to support a loved one through theirs, in this episode you’ll hear crucial insights into the spiritual and emotional aspects of recovering from betrayal. Robin and Christy share stories that are real, heartfelt, and unbelievably hopeful.
We’re so excited for you to hear this inspiring interview with these two precious women.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
CONNECT With ROBIN AND CHRISTY:
Website: RobinAndChristyWrite.org
Purchase their book: Who is God Now? Hope in God after Betrayal
Email: RobinandChristyWrite@gmail.com
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 96. The Message in the Affair: Self-Discovery After His Infidelity, with April Truitt
Episode 105. God, Where Were You When…? Questions in the Aftermath of Betrayal
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday May 26, 2025
Monday May 26, 2025
Have you ever stepped out in faith, trusting God’s call even when the road ahead looked uncertain?
Two years ago, we took that leap—surrendering our fears, our past hurts, and our plans, to follow where Jesus was leading us. And we’re here to tell you: God has been faithful. Not just in sustaining us, but in growing us—deepening our marriage, stretching our faith, and opening doors in ministry we never could’ve imagined.
This journey hasn’t been easy. It started in the wreckage of betrayal and brokenness, but God didn’t leave us there. He rebuilt. He redeemed. And now, looking back? We know that every probing question, every painful answer, every difficult moment we chose to surrender to the Lord, has brought healing to our marriage and prepared us for this journey that we call Beyond Broken Vows.
If you’re in that place of uncertainty today, wondering if stepping out is worth it? We want you to know that the hard work of recovery is definitely worth it and that God has a purpose for your pain.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
The Healing Apology – Episodes #10 & #80 (request your copy at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 55. Our Podcast is One Year Old!!! Marriages Redeemed, Hearts Renewed
Episode 72. Praising God While in the Storm of Sexual Betrayal and Porn-Fueled Infidelity
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday May 19, 2025
Monday May 19, 2025
Infidelity profoundly shakes the emotional foundation of a marriage, often leading to feelings of confusion, mistrust, and pain. In the midst of all this chaos, it's common for couples to feel unsure of how to find their way forward.
In this episode, we’re excited to explore how the Emotions Wheel, based on Plutchik’s theory and Willcox’s tool, can be a wonderful resource for couples facing the aftermath of betrayal.
By using the Emotions Wheel, couples can start to identify and understand the complex storm of feelings they are experiencing and initiate meaningful conversations that pave the way for healing.
Join us on this journey toward greater clarity and deeper connection!
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Emotions Wheel
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 13. His Triggers, Her Triggers – 4 Steps For Dealing With Triggers While Healing From Infidelity
Episode 52. What Is His Response To Her BIG Emotions After Porn-Fueled Infidelity?
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Beyond Broken Vows
Hello Beloved,
You may have been betrayed by your spouse or you may be the one who has betrayed your spouse through pornography use or even extra-marital relationships.
God loves you both!
We are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been on the painful road of sexual betrayal and addiction, but our marriage has been redeemed by the miraculous power of Jesus Christ.
Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But with God's help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too.
So, if you are ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and get ready to be encouraged!