Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
***Top 1.5% Global Podcast*** Dear Betrayed, Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had? Dear Betrayer, Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and you would lose everything if/when you came clean? Beloved, do you both feel like your marriage is over? Well, you’re right. That marriage full of secrets and lies IS over. But now there is hope for an honest and transparent marriage - one full of trust, safety, connection, forgiveness, acceptance, and intimacy that you’ve never known before. Bold statement, right? You may be thinking, “No way!” That’s okay. We understand… Hi, we are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been where you are... As a result of adultery fueled by pornography, the marriage vows we had exchanged as starry-eyed newlyweds and had worked so hard to keep were eventually shattered. We’ve been through hell and back. But we are here, together, to let you know that this devastation we experienced was actually a gift. Of course, we didn’t see it that way at first and you probably don’t either. But, through a commitment to recovery, our faith in God, and our hope for redemption, we set out on a journey of healing, and we can’t wait to share what we’ve learned with you. We now have a marriage that continually blows our minds, and we give God all the glory! So, if you’re ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us on a journey of faith as we talk through difficult questions like; Is there hope for our marriage? Can I fix all the damage I’ve done? Can I ever trust again? Is true intimacy even possible? We will also do deep dives into the topics of: * Isolation * Guilt and Shame * Anger * Rejection * Addiction * Trauma * Body Image * Triggers * Communication * And more… Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But, with God’s help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too. You can connect with us at: support@beyondbrokenvows.com https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com/ https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com/ We would love to be part of your journey to healing and wholeness!
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Episodes
Monday Oct 23, 2023
Monday Oct 23, 2023
Up until now, we’ve been talking a lot about taking steps to stabilize, grieve, heal, and renew our marriages after sexual betrayal. We've covered heavy topics like confession, boundaries, apologies, and forgiveness. and in our last episode even dipped our toes into the waters of reigniting sexual connection and what true intimacy looks like.
But today, we're switching gears. We're going to take a step back from the weightier topics for something more lighthearted and enjoyable.
If you’ve decided to stay married and have been working through the recovery process, have you considered renewing your marriage vows?
Today we're going to explore the "why" behind renewing your vows, why we decided to renew our vows and unpack what renewing your marriage vows signifies as you move forward in your relationship.
So, grab your coffee or wine and get ready for a fun discussion that we hope brings you encouragement in your own healing journey.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
The Healing Apology (request .pdf at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 04. Sharing Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery
Episode 05. The Effects of Infidelity and How We Made the Decision to Stay Married After Sexual Betrayal
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Oct 16, 2023
Monday Oct 16, 2023
Have you wrestled with this question? Can there still be a meaningful sexual relationship after experiencing sexual betrayal? The short answer is YES, but today, we're not diving into the world of makeup or guilt sex. Instead, we'll be delving into the realm of true intimacy.
Intimacy is often misunderstood as just being synonymous with love and sex. While sex is a part of it, there's a deeper layer involved. It's about gradually building a connection with your spouse, one that's rooted in honesty, vulnerability, and transparency. So, join us as we explore the intricacies of maintaining a strong bond through intimacy.
So, reheat your coffee or pour yourself a glass of wine and join us for an encouraging look at sex and intimacy in marriage after sexual betrayal.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
The Healing Apology (request .pdf at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 06. Setting Boundaries After Sexual Betrayal in Marriage
Episode 07. 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 1)
Episode 08. 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 2)
Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology
Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 13. His Triggers, Her Triggers – 4 Steps For Dealing With Triggers While Healing From Infidelity
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Oct 09, 2023
Monday Oct 09, 2023
Hello Friend,
Have you experienced grief? We normally associate grief with the death and loss of someone we love, and we can also grieve the loss of something we are emotionally attached to like a job or home. But there is also a loss that occurs through betrayal. With this type of loss come the very same emotions that are common to losing someone or something dear to us.
After sexual betrayal, the loss of the relationship you thought you had can trigger the grieving process. Finding out about your spouse's hidden sexual behavior can be one of the most shocking betrayals you'll ever go through and the experience of being lied to and manipulated compounds the trauma and can even intensify grief. Grief in any situation is very painful and takes time and courage to process through.
So, grab your coffee or pumpkin spiced latte and join us as we look at grief through the lens of sexual betrayal in marriage.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 04. Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery
Episode 05. The Effects of Infidelity and How We Made the Decision to Stay Married After Sexual Betrayal
Check out our videos on YouTube! @BeyondBrokenVows
Next Steps:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review.
✔️If you have a question for Johnny and/or Emily, you can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Monday Oct 02, 2023
Monday Oct 02, 2023
The prevalence of sexually explicit content continues to surge, becoming increasingly accessible with each passing day. Who's it hurting? A better question might be, who isn't it hurting? Pornography affects everyone from innocent children to grandparents and there’s really no escaping it in our culture today. So, what can we do?
Today we are sharing a discussion we had with a young couple who experienced the devastation of pornography use in their marriage. But, they didn’t let it destroy them. In fact, they are doing something amazing to help others struggling with porn addiction find freedom. Their secret to success might just surprise you!
It's time to sip on your favorite drink and join us for a captivating conversation featuring our guests, Emmanuel and Bekah Guarino.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
Here's how to connect with the Guarinos:
Teamvulnerable.com
Youtube: @teamvulnerable
Instagram: @teamvulnerable
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 16. “It’s Just Porn, What’s The Big Deal?” And 4 Other Lies We Tell Ourselves To Justify Viewing Pornography
Episode 17. ” Is My Spouse A Porn Addict? 13 Clues To Help Expose Compulsive Sexual Behavior
Episode 18. Feeling Like I’m Not Enough. What If Pornography Is Not My True Addiction?
Episode 20. From Porn Queen To Child of God Now On Mission To Help Others Find Freedom with Elizabeth Spraggins
Next Steps:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review.
✔️If you have a question for Johnny and/or Emily, you can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Monday Sep 25, 2023
Monday Sep 25, 2023
Hey Friend,
Have you ever been curious about the untold stories of those in the adult entertainment industry? Do you question the authenticity of what you've heard about or witnessed on the screen?
We've recently been talking a lot about the harmful impact of pornography on consumers and their loved ones, but only briefly explored the profound effects it has on those who take center stage.
Today, prepare to be captivated as we engage in a compelling conversation with Elizabeth Spraggins, a remarkable individual who once lived in the world of adult entertainment but has since found freedom in Christ. Elizabeth, a Certified Professional Life Coach and a distinguished authority in human sexuality and adult entertainment, offers us an exclusive glimpse behind the curtains.
She's not only turned her life around but has also extended her hand to those still navigating this complex industry. Join us as Elizabeth unveils the transformation ignited by her newfound relationship with Jesus and her inspiring mission to guide adult entertainers and sex workers toward a path of rebirth—mind, body, and spirit.
Grab your coffee or pumpkin spiced latte and tune in for an eye-opening discussion that'll change the way you see the world behind the screen.
We pray this blesses you!
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
Here's how you can connect with Elizabeth,
Podcast: Digging From Darkness Living in Light, on multiple platforms
@elizabethspraggins on YouTube
@alljoyinspired on Twitch, Rumble, Twitter
To watch this interview on YouTube click here, https://youtu.be/N2FbjR57ApI
Related Episodes:
Episode 04. Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery
Episode 16. “It’s Just Porn, What’s The Big Deal?” And 4 Other Lies We Tell Ourselves To Justify Viewing Pornography
Episode 17. ” Is My Spouse A Porn Addict? 13 Clues To Help Expose Compulsive Sexual Behavior
Episode 18. Feeling Like I’m Not Enough. What If Pornography Is Not My True Addiction?
Next Steps:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review.
✔️If you have a question for Johnny and/or Emily, you can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Monday Sep 18, 2023
Monday Sep 18, 2023
As a fallen human race, we tend to compare ourselves to others in many ways, the way people look, what kind of clothes they wear or car they drive, what job they have or what kind of house and neighborhood they live in. This comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy or pridefulness. I imagine most, if not all of us, have or have had some degree of comparison working against us in how we feel about ourselves.
Today we are going to explore the feeling of not being enough and how the destructive practice of comparison shaped my view of my self-worth before the discovery of my husband’s sexual betrayal and then after it all came to light and how it slowly eroded my personal identity throughout my life. So, grab your favorite beverage, buckle up and get ready for some real transparency.
We pray this blesses you,
Emily and Johnny Spigelmire
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
Resources:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
Related Episodes:
Episode 04. Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery
Episode 18. Feeling Like I’m Not Enough. What If Pornography Is Not My True Addiction?
Next Steps:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review.
✔️If you have a question for Johnny and/or Emily, you can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Monday Sep 11, 2023
Monday Sep 11, 2023
In our marriages when there is sexual betrayal fueled by pornography use or addiction, it is easy to only focus on the outward behaviors because they are so painful and destructive. But what if there is something deeper under the surface that you are unaware of? What if the addiction was only the evidence of an underlying problem. Would you be willing to explore the possibility?
I’m a recovering sex addict with over 4 years of sobriety and I’m grateful that I discovered that there was something insidious behind my acting out behaviors. This realization became the framework on which my recovery began.
Today we are going to unpack my ah-ha moment and uncover the deeper origins that led to my true addiction, which had manifested as porn addiction and ultimately culminated into extra-marital relationships.
So, grab your favorite beverage and join us for this eye-opening discussion about what may be behind our addictive and destructive behaviors.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 04. Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery
Episode 16. “It’s Just Porn, What’s The Big Deal?” And 4 Other Lies We Tell Ourselves To Justify Viewing Pornography
Episode 17. ” Is My Spouse A Porn Addict? 13 Clues To Help Expose Compulsive Sexual Behavior
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review.
✔️If you have a question or comment for Johnny and/or Emily, you can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Monday Sep 04, 2023
Monday Sep 04, 2023
As the wife of a recovering addict, I’ve learned that there were clues displayed by my husband that pointed to addictive behavior. I was aware of his periodic pornography use but didn’t put it together with these behavioral clues to realize that there might be a serious issue. Now that we have been working on our recovery for several years, I have discovered what I either missed or ignored as signs of a porn addiction. We are going to share some information with you today that I wished I had known before it had escalated into compulsive pornography use and serial extra-marital relationships.
We hope this information helps you connect the dots. This is not about getting our spouses into trouble; it’s about getting them out. Freedom is on the other side of hidden sin. Even if you are already aware of addictive behavioral patterns, please be assured that it will not just go away on its own. If left unaddressed, it will always escalate. It is a painful process to come out of addiction, for both spouses, but it is well worth the journey to experience real connection with each other in a marriage based on honesty, trust, transparency, and exclusivity.
So, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy and spend some time with us as we unpack 13 clues that may expose porn/sex addiction in your spouse or yourself so that healing can begin.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
CORRECTION: The scripture reference of Proverbs 27:17 was incorrect. Here is the verse with the correct reference;
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Hebrews 10:24
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes, Ph.d
LPC; CSAT; Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA- 12-Step); Celebrate Recovery
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 04. Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery
Episode 07. 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 1)
Episode 08. 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 2)
Episode 16. “It’s Just Porn, What’s The Big Deal?” And 4 Other Lies We Tell Ourselves To Justify Viewing Pornography
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review.
✔️If you have a question for Johnny and/or Emily, you can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Monday Aug 28, 2023
Monday Aug 28, 2023
If pornography is no big deal, why are so many marriages destroyed by it?
If pornography is harmless, why are so many people around the world hurt by it?
If pornography is no big deal, why do we hide it from our wives?
If pornography is harmless, why do we hide it from our children?
How much do you know about porn and the pornography industry? I didn’t know much about it when I got married and I didn’t really want to. I thought it was something non-believers did. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to stay naive about this topic when my husband revealed to me his pornography use that escalated into extra-marital relationships. I got an education that I never wanted, but it has helped me to be more discerning and also empathetic to those who struggle with this destructive habitual sin.
Today we will unpack 4 lies that people tell themselves when trying to justify the use of pornography and also just how harmful it is inside of covenant marriage.
We hope this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
y pornography use or addiction, it is easy to only focus on the outward behaviors because they are so painful and destructive. But what if there is something deeper under the surface that you are unaware of? What if the addiction was only the evidence of an underlying problem. Would you be willing to explore the possibility?
I’m a recovering sex addict with over 4 years of sobriety and I’m grateful that I discovered that there was something insidious behind my acting out behaviors. This realization became the framework on which my recovery began.
Today we are going to unpack my ah-ha moment and uncover the deeper origins that led to my true addiction, which had manifested as porn addiction and ultimately culminated into extra-marital relationships.
So, grab your favorite beverage and join us for this eye-opening discussion about what may be behind our addictive and destructive behaviors.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
Exodus Cry - Fighting human sex trafficking globally. Know the Facts. Join the Movement. Give to the Cause. https://exoduscry.com/
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 02. Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me
Episode 03. His Story: I Betrayed My Wife and My Moral Values
Episode 04. Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review.
✔️If you have a question for Johnny and/or Emily, you can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Monday Aug 21, 2023
Monday Aug 21, 2023
Have you ever told someone something you knew they were not going to want to hear? Do you have something you need to tell someone and are terrified about how they will react? Are you afraid to say it because it could cause them significant pain and/or jeopardize your relationship with them?
These are very natural emotions that come with telling difficult news. This was our predicament when we made the decision to tell some people about the reality of infidelity in our marriage.
Today we will share with you how we went through this process and what happened as a result.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(*paid affiliate links may be included)
The Healing Apology (request .pdf at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 01. ”Why Are We Talking About Betrayal?” A Q&A with the Betrayed and the Betrayer
Episode 02. Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me
Episode 03. His Story: I Betrayed My Wife and My Moral Values
Episode 04. Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery
Episode 14. To Tell Or Not To Tell: 3 Things We Did Right (And 1 Thing We Didn’t) When Deciding Who Needs To Know Our Infidelity Story
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review.
✔️If you have a question for Johnny and/or Emily, you can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Beyond Broken Vows
Hello Beloved,
You may have been betrayed by your spouse or you may be the one who has betrayed your spouse through pornography use or even extra-marital relationships.
God loves you both!
We are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been on the painful road of sexual betrayal and addiction, but our marriage has been redeemed by the miraculous power of Jesus Christ.
Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But with God's help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too.
So, if you are ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and get ready to be encouraged!