Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
*****Top 5% Global Podcast***** Dear Betrayed, Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had? Dear Betrayer, Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and you would lose everything if/when you came clean? Beloved, do you both feel like your marriage is over? Well, you’re right. That marriage full of secrets and lies IS over. But now there is hope for an honest and transparent marriage - one full of trust, safety, connection, forgiveness, acceptance, and intimacy that you’ve never known before. Bold statement, right? You may be thinking, “No way!” That’s okay. We understand… Hi, we are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been where you are... As a result of adultery fueled by pornography, the marriage vows we had exchanged as starry-eyed newlyweds and had worked so hard to keep were eventually shattered. We’ve been through hell and back. But we are here, together, to let you know that this devastation we experienced was actually a gift. Of course, we didn’t see it that way at first and you probably don’t either. But, through a commitment to recovery, our faith in God, and our hope for redemption, we set out on a journey of healing, and we can’t wait to share what we’ve learned with you. We now have a marriage that continually blows our minds, and we give God all the glory! So, if you’re ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us on a journey of faith as we talk through difficult questions like; Is there hope for our marriage? Can I fix all the damage I’ve done? Can I ever trust again? Is true intimacy even possible? We will also do deep dives into the topics of: * Isolation * Guilt and Shame * Anger * Rejection * Addiction * Trauma * Body Image * Triggers * Communication * And more… Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But, with God’s help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too. You can connect with us at: support@beyondbrokenvows.com https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com/ https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com/ We would love to be part of your journey to healing and wholeness!
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Episodes
6 days ago
6 days ago
Is your marriage thriving after sexual betrayal? Maybe not. Maybe you are just surviving.
You might just be at the beginning of the journey to healing and still don’t even know if you want to stay married. Maybe you and your spouse have been working hard on recovering from this devastation, but you aren’t really connecting in a fulfilling way yet. Or, maybe you have reached a point as a couple where you feel like you have a brand-new marriage, and it’s better than the one you had before betrayal and addiction.
We fall into this last category, but that doesn’t mean we don’t still have very hard days. Can a marriage thrive even while experiencing recurring painful moments from the past? And might this be a marker for how well a marriage is thriving? We'll let you in on one of our recent really hard days and what it taught us.
Our prayer is that everyone listening to our podcast will eventually find the peace and joy of a marriage redeemed by God and made new. It is not easy getting here or staying here, but it is so worth the effort!
Join us today as we have a vulnerable conversation about thriving vs. surviving in marriage post sexual betrayal.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
The Healing Apology (request your copy at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology
Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 23. 7 Steps to True Intimacy After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 48. Closing the Gap - 3 Steps to Sexual Intimacy
Episode 49. Sobriety vs. Recovery After Porn-Fueled Infidelity
NEXT STEPS:
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✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Apr 15, 2024
Monday Apr 15, 2024
Wives, has your husband stopped his acting out behavior and is even showing some behaviors that you appreciate, but you still feel like he isn’t a changed man? Do you still feel the distance between you? Like he doesn’t really see you?
Husbands, are you doing all the things your wife has requested and feel like you are moving forward in recovery, but she isn’t responding the way you hope or expect?
Today we are going to talk about an aspect of sexual betrayal recovery we’ve experienced and are now seeing in many of our clients and hearing it from our listeners who write in…Husbands who are sober, but not actively recovering. What’s the difference?
Join us as we unravel this common and sometimes confusing issue in marriages trying to recover from porn-fueled infidelity.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 27. Recovery Step 2: Porn Making You Crazy? Believing God Can Restore Your Sanity
Episode 31. Recovery Step 4: Who Am I? A Fearless Search - The Origin of My Sex Addiction
Episode 38. Recovery Step 9: Become an Action Hero! Righting the Wrongs of Our Destructive Sexual Behavior
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Apr 08, 2024
Monday Apr 08, 2024
Have you been on the healing journey after sexual betrayal and you and your spouse are ready to level up? Do you want to experience more true intimacy?
Today we will be talking about 3 simple steps to take that are not easy because it will involve some risk. But, if you are looking for intimacy that goes far beyond anything that our world has to offer, it’s so worth it!
So, come spend a little time with us to hear how you can grow closer to your spouse, even if you have already made great progress. There’s much more that God has in store for you!
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology
Episode 23. 7 Steps to True Intimacy After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 24. Would You Marry Your Betraying Spouse Again? Renewing Vows After Porn-Fueled Infidelity. This Time...Mean It.
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Apr 01, 2024
Monday Apr 01, 2024
Hopefully you’ve heard both sides of our sexual intimacy story, or lack thereof, in episodes 45 and 46. If not, we encourage you to listen to those to gain a better understanding of how we got to the place where our broken marriage got new life after God intervened and recovery began.
Now, we share a wonderfully intimate sexual life together, but it wasn’t easy getting here. On today’s show we will run down the progression of our sex life from Discovery Day and Disclosure Day when Johnny confessed his regular porn use and extra-marital relationships, to our current emotionally safe and sexually satisfying marriage through recovery.
Grab a beverage and listen in for an uplifting conversation about God’s redemptive work in a marriage where both spouses are fully surrendered to Him and each other.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe. Ask a question or leave a review.
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 40. Valentine's Day Fails and Favorites Before and After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 45. Intimacy with a Sex-Addict in Marriage
Episode 46. Sexuality as a Sex-Addict in Marriage
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Mar 25, 2024
Monday Mar 25, 2024
Men, do you have a secret relationship with pornography and/or others outside of your marriage? Are you consumed by your thought life and hiding things from your wife that you don’t want her to know? Is sex with your wife becoming challenging, difficult, or just too much effort? Do you feel misunderstood? Are you afraid that if she knew everything about you, she would leave you?
Last week, Emily shared her perspective on our sexual relationship through the years up until Discovery Day and Disclosure Day when Johnny came clean of all his secrets. She didn’t know what she didn’t know, which made this area of our life progressively challenging.
Today Johnny is going to share how he viewed our sex life, not knowing he was an addict, but knowing he was hiding secret sin from Emily.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 03. His Story: I Betrayed My Wife and My Moral Values
Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology
Episode 18. Feeling Like I’m Not Enough. What If Pornography Is Not My True Addiction?
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Mar 18, 2024
Monday Mar 18, 2024
Ladies, have you spent years trying to connect with your husband in a meaningful and fulfilling way only to find that you just couldn’t get there no matter what you did? Has it ever occurred to you that you may be trying to experience intimacy with a sex-addict? Seems oxymoronic, right? Intimacy with a sex- addict. We think so as well. But how many wives are living this nightmare without knowing why? Over the next 3 weeks we will be sharing our perspectives on the pitfalls of trying to achieve intimacy in marriage when sex-addiction is a behind-the-scenes factor.
Join us as we uncover a picture of sexual disfunction and intimacy anorexia in marriage where porn use and adultery are present.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 02. Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me
Episode 12. His Adultery Shattered My Reality. How Do I Know What’s Real?
Episode 17. Is My Spouse A Porn Addict? 13 Clues To Help Expose Compulsive Sexual Behavior
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Mar 11, 2024
Monday Mar 11, 2024
Ladies, now that you know your husband has been unfaithful and broken covenant with you; maybe through pornography use, maybe it even escalated to being sexually active outside of your marriage, I want to ask you, what is your biggest fear?
If you are like me, you are afraid that he will do it again. This is a very real and natural thing to be concerned about. Trust me, if it happened once, it can happen again.
Now, if your spouse is in recovery and making good, steady forward progress, it may be easier for you to keep that fear at bay. A track record of trustworthiness is wonderful and comforting. It creates safety for you and brings stability to your marriage. But also, like me, you may eventually get to a place where he’s doing so well that you don’t think it will happen again and your hopeful optimism can produce an emotional crisis when a slip in recovery occurs.
So, what happens next? What do we do? These are natural questions to ask and hard to answer when we are blindsided with the reality of persistent sexual integrity issues. This is why we’re going to spend some time talking about Slips and Relapses and the importance of having a Relapse Plan if we find ourselves in that precarious position.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Emily’s Birthday Special – Sign up to get access to discounts on coaching with Emily this week, insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 6. Setting Boundaries After Sexual Betrayal in Marriage
When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology
Episode 39. Recovery Step 10: 4 Ways to Keep Your Relational Slate Clean & Stay Clear of Porn Addiction
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Mar 04, 2024
Monday Mar 04, 2024
What happens to a marriage, shattered by porn-fueled infidelity, that doesn’t undertake a specific recovery process? What happens to the individuals in that marriage?
We believe, it’s likely that this marriage will be devoid of real connection and true intimacy. Sure, it is possible to stay married without recovery. Couples can sweep it under the rug denying it’s impact. Or, one spouse may be unwilling to do the hard work of recovery and leave the other feeling not seen and not secure in the marriage. Or, one spouse may want to work hard, but the other can’t find a way to forgive and move forward.
But, is this what you signed up for when you said, “I Do”?
Today we wrap up our series on the 12-Steps of Recovery from Sex Addicts Anonymous. It is our heartfelt desire that if you are in a marriage broken by adultery and betrayal, you will seek out a recovery program that can walk you step-by-step into freedom and peace. And a marriage better than you ever imagined possible.
So, grab a comfortable seat and join us as we share the hope of Jesus through our wrap up of the 12-steps.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Sex Addict Self-Assessment Questionnaire
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
Green Book - Sex Addicts Anonymous: 3rd Edition Conference Approved
Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes, Ph.d
Drop the Rock co-authored by Bill P., Todd W and Sara S.
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 39. Recovery Step 10: 4 Ways to Keep Your Relational Slate Clean & Stay Clear of Porn Addiction
Episode 41. Recovery Step 11: How Can We Know? 6 Points to Ponder When Seeking God’s Will
Episode 42. Recovery Step 12: A Great Awakening - 7 Ways to Serve Others While Healing From Sex Addiction
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
D
Monday Feb 26, 2024
Monday Feb 26, 2024
Have you ever experienced a life-changing revelation that compelled you to share it with others and integrate it into your life? This is similar to the impact of embracing recovery and is at the very heart of what we felt when we surrendered to Jesus. Today, we will explore the 12th step of recovery, and how we can actively share our message while living out these steps in our daily lives.
So, grab a beverage and something to take notes with and join us as we discuss 7 ways we can share our message of hope with others.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Valentines Special – Sign up to get access to discounts on coaching in February.insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Sex Addict Self-Assessment Questionnaire
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
Green Book - Sex Addicts Anonymous: 3rd Edition Conference Approved
Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes, Ph.d
Drop the Rock co-authored by Bill P., Todd W and Sara S.
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 38. Recovery Step 9: Become an Action Hero! Righting the Wrongs of Our Destructive Sexual Behavior
Episode 39. Recovery Step 10: 4 Ways to Keep Your Relational Slate Clean & Stay Clear of Porn Addiction
Episode 41. Recovery Step 11: How Can We Know? 6 Points to Ponder When Seeking God’s Will
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Disclaimer: The content presented in this podcast is provided solely for educational purposes and should be considered as general information. It is not intended to serve as therapy or psychological advice. We strongly recommend consulting your physician or mental health provider for personalized advice, support, or treatment concerning your well-being. In the event of a crisis, please dial 911 for immediate assistance.
Monday Feb 19, 2024
Monday Feb 19, 2024
Do you find it difficult to connect with God and know his will for your life?
If you said yes, you are not alone. Just like the recovery journey, it takes a lot of persistent and consistent effort to cultivate a close relationship with the Lord. It doesn’t come naturally to us mere humans, but there is a roadmap for discovering how to make connecting with God a priority. It’s found in the Bible. Today we are going to unpack Step 11 of the Sex Addicts Anonymous Recovery Program, which is all about this sometimes elusive yet always fulfilling practice of knowing God and his will for us.
So grab a drink, your Bible, and a pen and join us for this journey into seeking God’s will for our lives and his power to carry it out.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Valentines Special – Sign up to get access to discounts on coaching in February.insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Sex Addict Self-Assessment Questionnaire
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
Green Book - Sex Addicts Anonymous: 3rd Edition Conference Approved
Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes, Ph.d
Drop the Rock co-authored by Bill P., Todd W and Sara S.
( As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 38. Recovery Step 9: Become an Action Hero! Righting the Wrongs of Our Destructive Sexual Behavior
Episode 39. Recovery Step 10: 4 Ways to Keep Your Relational Slate Clean & Stay Clear of Porn Addiction
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Beyond Broken Vows
Hello Beloved!
You may have been betrayed by your spouse or you may be one who has betrayed your spouse through pornography use or even extra-marital relationships.
God loves you both!
We have been on the painful road of sexual betrayal and addiction, but our marriage has been redeemed by the miraculous power of Jesus Christ!
Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But, with God’s help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too.
So, if you’re ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and get ready to be encouraged!