Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
***Top 1.5% Global Podcast*** Dear Betrayed, Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had? Dear Betrayer, Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and you would lose everything if/when you came clean? Beloved, do you both feel like your marriage is over? Well, you’re right. That marriage full of secrets and lies IS over. But now there is hope for an honest and transparent marriage - one full of trust, safety, connection, forgiveness, acceptance, and intimacy that you’ve never known before. Bold statement, right? You may be thinking, “No way!” That’s okay. We understand… Hi, we are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been where you are... As a result of adultery fueled by pornography, the marriage vows we had exchanged as starry-eyed newlyweds and had worked so hard to keep were eventually shattered. We’ve been through hell and back. But we are here, together, to let you know that this devastation we experienced was actually a gift. Of course, we didn’t see it that way at first and you probably don’t either. But, through a commitment to recovery, our faith in God, and our hope for redemption, we set out on a journey of healing, and we can’t wait to share what we’ve learned with you. We now have a marriage that continually blows our minds, and we give God all the glory! So, if you’re ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us on a journey of faith as we talk through difficult questions like; Is there hope for our marriage? Can I fix all the damage I’ve done? Can I ever trust again? Is true intimacy even possible? We will also do deep dives into the topics of: * Isolation * Guilt and Shame * Anger * Rejection * Addiction * Trauma * Body Image * Triggers * Communication * And more… Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But, with God’s help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too. You can connect with us at: support@beyondbrokenvows.com https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com/ https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com/ We would love to be part of your journey to healing and wholeness!
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Episodes
5 days ago
5 days ago
Infidelity profoundly shakes the emotional foundation of a marriage, often leading to feelings of confusion, mistrust, and pain. In the midst of all this chaos, it's common for couples to feel unsure of how to find their way forward.
In this episode, we’re excited to explore how the Emotions Wheel, based on Plutchik’s theory and Willcox’s tool, can be a wonderful resource for couples facing the aftermath of betrayal.
By using the Emotions Wheel, couples can start to identify and understand the complex storm of feelings they are experiencing and initiate meaningful conversations that pave the way for healing.
Join us on this journey toward greater clarity and deeper connection!
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Emotions Wheel
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 13. His Triggers, Her Triggers – 4 Steps For Dealing With Triggers While Healing From Infidelity
Episode 52. What Is His Response To Her BIG Emotions After Porn-Fueled Infidelity?
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday May 12, 2025
Monday May 12, 2025
When sexual betrayal shatters a marriage, the deepest wounds often come with agonizing questions—especially about God’s timing. Why did He allow the lies to continue for years? Where was He when the vows were being broken?
In this raw conversation, we tackle the three most tormenting questions betrayed wives ask God, and the surprising hope Scripture offers both the betrayed and the betrayer.
This isn’t an episode about quick fixes. It’s about finding footing when your spiritual foundation shakes. Whether you’re the wounded or the one who caused the wound, God’s redemption meets you right where you are—not to erase the past, but to rebuild you through it.
If this episode met you in your struggle, your 5-star review helps other hurting hearts find this resource.
With love,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 79. Redeeming What Was Lost, Stolen, or Given Away Through Adultery
Episode 104. Sifting Through the Rubble After Infidelity Explodes Your Marriage
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday May 05, 2025
Monday May 05, 2025
Being betrayed by hidden infidelity is like walking through a museum you helped build—room by room, the laughter, whispered promises, and the quiet certainty of a shared history. Every glance, every touch, every “I love you” hung like priceless art on walls you thought would stand forever.
But somewhere deep in the walls, a gas leak has been growing—invisible, silent, deadly. You walked through those halls for years, never smelling the poison seeping into the foundation. You marveled at the exhibits of your life, never knowing they were rigged to blow.
And then one day, suddenly everything explodes. No warning. Just fire and shrapnel tearing through everything you thought was sacred leaving in its wake a heap of broken beams and shattered glass. You’re on your knees in the wreckage, bleeding, choking on smoke and the sickening realization: None of it was safe.
Now you dig. You start sifting through the ash and rubble, trying to salvage anything of value from your life you thought you had. A photo frame. A charred love letter. A shard of truth. And the worst part is, as you search, you don’t even know if what you’re holding was ever real—or just part of a beautifully constructed lie.
Some of you are still standing in the smoke. Some are staring at blueprints, terrified to build again. Wherever you are—you’re not alone. Join us as we dive deeper into what it means to sift through the rubble of sexual betrayal.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 79. Redeeming What Was Lost, Stolen, or Given Away Through Adultery
Episode 87. Can’t We Just Get Back to Normal? Shortest Path to True Intimacy After Sexual Betrayal
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Apr 28, 2025
Monday Apr 28, 2025
The discovery of sexual betrayal in your marriage can feel like a punch in the gut, leaving you reeling and unsure of what to do next.
As a betrayed wife, you are experiencing trauma. As a husband who has been found unfaithful, you are probably scared and trying to fix what you’ve broken. Neither one of you are sure what the future will look like.
But if you are listening to our podcast, you’re taking a brave step in the right direction. Our e-book is here to help you navigate this emotional roller-coaster as you set out on your healing and recovery journey.
Whether you're the one who was betrayed or the one who did the betraying, we've got you covered with practical tips and guidance to help you rebuild trust, foster open communication, and grow as individuals and as a couple.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married”
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 5. The Effects of Infidelity and How We Made the Decision to Stay Married After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 59. Is It Over? Take These 5 Steps to Save Your Marriage After Adultery
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Apr 21, 2025
Monday Apr 21, 2025
In this raw and emotional episode, we dive into the painful reality of how the phrase “I love you” can feel hollow and even triggering after sexual betrayal in marriage.
When those same words were whispered to someone outside the covenant, they lose their sacred weight—leaving the betrayed spouse questioning their truth. We explore the agony of speaking (or hearing) “I love you” when trust has been shattered, and why those words may no longer feel safe.
But there is hope. Healing is absolutely possible through God’s redemptive power and the hard, daily work of recovery. We discuss how couples can rebuild trust, not with empty words, but with actions that prove commitment over time.
And we reveal a new approach we’re testing: replacing “I love you” with “I choose you”—a deliberate declaration of fidelity, even when feelings are messy.
You’re not alone in this struggle. If “I love you” stings right now, it’s okay. Healing starts with honesty, humility, and a willingness to rebuild—one faithful choice at a time.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 64. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs From Her Recovering Husband (Series)
Episode 78. Forgiving the “Other Woman” - A Path to Peace After Sexual Betrayal Trauma
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Apr 14, 2025
Monday Apr 14, 2025
Today we are so excited to dive into a conversation on the destructive impact of marital infidelity and the journey of healing and restoration with our special guests Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith.
Matthew and Joanna will share their deeply personal experience with sexual betrayal in their marriage and how they overcame this devastation to experience a marriage they never dreamed possible. Now, they're on mission to help others find that same path to healing.
In their insightful book, Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection that Stands the Test of Time, they introduce us to their unique concept of the 'Intimacy Pyramid.' This helpful framework walks couples through the process of rebuilding their relationships with a focus on honesty, safety, trust, vulnerability, and intimacy.
They’ll also shed light on the often-misunderstood topic of boundaries, offering a fresh perspective on how to set personal and relational boundaries in a way that brings life and helps us align our actions with our core values.
Make sure to grab a pen and paper, because you won’t want to miss all the amazing nuggets of wisdom Matthew and Joanna will share with us!
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
CONNECT WITH MATTHEW AND JOANNA RAABSMITH:
Website: raabsmithteam.comFreebie link: raabsmithteam.com/freeContact email: connect@raabsmithteam.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/theraabsmithteam/
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 82. Broken Trust After Infidelity? 3 Ways to Reach Her Heart
Episode 87. Can’t We Just Get Back to Normal? Shortest Path to True Intimacy After Sexual Betrayal
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Apr 07, 2025
Monday Apr 07, 2025
In our 100th episode of the Beyond Broken Vows podcast, we’re throwing a little celebration for the incredible journey of our podcast and the amazing work that God has done through it.
Join us as we share our personal experiences navigating the tricky waters of pornography and infidelity in our marriage. We’ll dive into the real challenges couples often face when reaching out for help.
Together, we’ll explore ten common hurdles that can get in the way of relationship coaching and counseling – think shame, financial constraints, time limitations…
We really believe it’s essential to seek support and push past these barriers, because that’s where healing and true intimacy can begin.
Plus, we’ll clarify how coaching differs from counseling, and we’ll inspire you to invest in your emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being.
Let’s take this journey together!
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 01. ”Why Are We Talking About Betrayal?” A Q&A with the Betrayed and the Betrayer
Episode 02. Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me
Episode 03. His Story: I Betrayed My Wife and My Moral Values
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Mar 31, 2025
Monday Mar 31, 2025
On today’s episode, we delve into the topic of euphoric recall, a painful yet critical aspect of sexual addiction recovery.
Emily shares her perspective as a betrayed wife, highlighting the emotional turmoil that accompanies these intrusive memories.
Meanwhile, Johnny explains his own experiences with euphoric recall and outlines a robust four-step battle plan to confront and dissolve these recollections.
It’s not a pleasant part of the journey to healing, but one necessary to face head-on with your spouse and a community of support.
We hope it blesses you!
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 97. "The Bubble" - What Makes Sex Addiction So Cunning, Baffling, and Powerful?
Episode 98. Navigating Porn Withdrawal and the Path of Least Resistance
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Mar 24, 2025
Monday Mar 24, 2025
Today we’re tackling an incredibly important topic: porn withdrawal and its impact on those bravely striving to break free from porn addiction.
We chat about both the mental and physical symptoms that can pop up during this journey, along with the challenges people often face when trying to leave behind the familiar paths of addiction.
We’ll share some practical steps to help you overcome these hurdles with confidence. We’ll also shine a light on the role of the amygdala in addiction, reminding us of the importance of seeking help and connecting with others instead of facing this journey alone.
Finding your personal ‘why’ for recovery is key, and we’re here to support you every step of the way! Let’s dive in together and make this journey a little easier and a lot more hopeful!
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
Sex Addict Self-Assessment Questionnaire
Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes, Ph.d
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 49. Sobriety vs. Recovery After Porn-Fueled Infidelity
Episode 56. Identifying Sex Addiction: Take the First Step Today
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Mar 17, 2025
Monday Mar 17, 2025
What is addiction?
How does it work?
Is it just about deciding to stop destructive behaviors?
Addiction can be a mystery for many couples. Husbands may wonder if they are addicts after betraying their spouse. Wives often struggle to understand how their partner could engage in such hurtful actions for so long.
When our marriage faced sexual betrayal six years ago, we were just as confused about sexual addiction as many of you. Since then, we've learned a lot and want to share key insights about addiction.
We will explore the complexities of sex addiction. We'll discuss how addiction affects not only the addict but also their loved ones, especially spouses.
We’ll cover the addiction cycle and its pain, using the concept of 'The Bubble' to explain the addict's inner world.
This episode is a chance to learn and and also foster conversations that lead to deeper intimacy.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
Out of the Shadows, by Patrick Carnes
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 17. Is My Spouse A Porn Addict? 13 Clues To Help Expose Compulsive Sexual Behavior
Episode 26. Recovery Step 1: Hooked on Porn? Admitting Helplessness Over Pornography’s Pull
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Beyond Broken Vows
Hello Beloved,
You may have been betrayed by your spouse or you may be the one who has betrayed your spouse through pornography use or even extra-marital relationships.
God loves you both!
We are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been on the painful road of sexual betrayal and addiction, but our marriage has been redeemed by the miraculous power of Jesus Christ.
Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But with God's help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too.
So, if you are ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and get ready to be encouraged!