Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
***Top 1.5% Global Podcast*** Dear Betrayed, Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had? Dear Betrayer, Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and you would lose everything if/when you came clean? Beloved, do you both feel like your marriage is over? Well, you’re right. That marriage full of secrets and lies IS over. But now there is hope for an honest and transparent marriage - one full of trust, safety, connection, forgiveness, acceptance, and intimacy that you’ve never known before. Bold statement, right? You may be thinking, “No way!” That’s okay. We understand… Hi, we are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been where you are... As a result of adultery fueled by pornography, the marriage vows we had exchanged as starry-eyed newlyweds and had worked so hard to keep were eventually shattered. We’ve been through hell and back. But we are here, together, to let you know that this devastation we experienced was actually a gift. Of course, we didn’t see it that way at first and you probably don’t either. But, through a commitment to recovery, our faith in God, and our hope for redemption, we set out on a journey of healing, and we can’t wait to share what we’ve learned with you. We now have a marriage that continually blows our minds, and we give God all the glory! So, if you’re ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us on a journey of faith as we talk through difficult questions like; Is there hope for our marriage? Can I fix all the damage I’ve done? Can I ever trust again? Is true intimacy even possible? We will also do deep dives into the topics of: * Isolation * Guilt and Shame * Anger * Rejection * Addiction * Trauma * Body Image * Triggers * Communication * And more… Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But, with God’s help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too. You can connect with us at: support@beyondbrokenvows.com https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com/ https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com/ We would love to be part of your journey to healing and wholeness!
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3 days ago
3 days ago
Making and apology to our betrayed spouse is one of the more important facets of our recovery process. However, have you had the experience when making an apology to your spouse, it seemed to cause more damage than give relief? So, what is the secret to a good apology and how can it be done with respect and honesty that can lead to true intimacy.
Since publishing episode #10, When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology, we have had many requests for the Healing Apology worksheet, mostly from husbands who realized that they needed to apologize to their spouse for the ways they hurt them through their infidelity. We have gotten some great feedback from those who have used this valuable tool. Many found it very helpful, but others, not so much. Through this feedback we’re going to expand on the Healing Apology resource and give some caveats to help folks have a more successful experience.
You will not want to miss our conversation today as we talk through 7 caveats for an effective healing apology.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
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RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology
Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Nov 11, 2024
Monday Nov 11, 2024
Have you ever lost something or had something taken away from you and you deeply felt the loss?
Or perhaps you gave something precious away that you now regret or grieve and want to get it back.
Would you be willing to travel a potentially painful path to have your loss restored?
The path of redemption can be challenging at best and painful at its worst. But what if the road less traveled brought victory and healing from your past and freedom for your future?
You will not want to miss our conversation today as we talk about redeeming what was lost, stolen, or given away through marital infidelity.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 13. His Triggers, Her Triggers – 4 Steps For Dealing With Triggers While Healing From Infidelity
Episode 54. Betrayed Wives Experience Profound Loss, But Do Cheating Husbands?
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Nov 04, 2024
Monday Nov 04, 2024
On this show, we have often talked about forgiveness - the need for extending forgiveness and how to walk out forgiveness. It has been in the context of forgiving your spouse for sexual betrayal, but what about the other woman? Or women? There are many different scenarios and every marriage has a unique story of brokenness. But there is a common thread of knowing there are those outside of your marriage who contributed to and/or participated in your spouse’s sexual sin. How do you forgive these people who you may not even know?
In this episode, we discuss the difficult topic of forgiving the “other women” involved in a marriage infidelity. Emily shares her personal journey of forgiveness, detailing the challenges and steps she took to forgive not only Johnny, who had a long history of pornography and extramarital affairs, but also the women involved. She describes how she navigated her emotions and found empathy and compassion for those she once resented.
Join us for this frank discussion on forgiveness and then share it with someone you know needs to hear it.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 61. Is Joy Possible After Sexual Betrayal?
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Oct 28, 2024
Monday Oct 28, 2024
Have you ever found yourself in a situation that totally surprised you, leaving you unsure of how to react? It happens to all of us!
When we’re on the journey to recovering from sex addiction, those unexpected moments can be particularly challenging. It’s important to be aware and not let our guard down, as staying vigilant plays a crucial role in our recovery.
We’d love for you to join us today as we chat about the importance of staying watchful throughout our recovery process and how it can positively impact our relationships with our wives.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
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Monday Oct 21, 2024
Monday Oct 21, 2024
When you hear the statement, "I do not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it". What thoughts and/or emotions surface immediately? Our experience has shown us that the initial reaction from a betrayed spouse will likely differ from that of the one who has broken faith. The former will react in a posture of, "You better regret your past!". And the latter will feel that they are “supposed to” regret their past actions.
Join us today as we navigate our way through this potentially triggering statement on The Beyond Broken Vows Podcast.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
Twelve Promises - from AA & SAA
1. If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.
2. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
3. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
4. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
5. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
6. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
7. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
8. Self-seeking will slip away.
9. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
10. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
11. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
12. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 25 | Persistent Sexual Integrity Issues in Marriage. Do Recovery Programs Really Work?
Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Oct 14, 2024
Monday Oct 14, 2024
Have you ever wondered how to hear God speaking to you? When we have deep wounds such as betrayal trauma and sexual integrity issues, we can feel desperate to hear the voice of God. We want him to tell us what to do to get relief from the ever-present pain and anxiety we are experiencing to find freedom and healing.
Today we are so excited to share our interview with Heather O’Brien host of the top 5% globally ranked podcast, "Heal with God”. She gave us some incredible insights into what true forgiveness means and how to release the shame of sexual betrayal. Heather emphasizes the importance of grieving with God and outlines her healing courses and resources, offering a step-by-step framework called the Heal with God Trauma Painkiller Roadmap.
Join us today as Heather walks us through the healing process by listening to God’s voice.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
Connect with Heather O’Brien:
Heal with God podcast
Heather’s Website
Heather’s Free Mental Makeover Challenge:
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet at support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 72. Praising God While in the Storm of Sexual Betrayal and Porn-Fueled Infidelity
Episode 74. Guilt and Shame in the Aftermath of Sexual Betrayal
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Oct 07, 2024
Monday Oct 07, 2024
If you are listening to our podcast on a regular basis, and we hope you are, you are likely working hard to stay married after porn-fueled infidelity.
One challenging area that needs to be addressed in the recovery process is shame and guilt. Many times, shame and guilt are used interchangeably as though they are the same. Do you know there’s a difference? What are the differences?
Join us today for our conversation on the difference between guilt and shame and how one of these is actually helpful for us as we move forward in our healing process.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Request the Healing Apology worksheet at support@beyondbrokenvows.com
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology
Episode 19. Feeling Like I’m Not Enough: How Comparison Can Distort Self-Identity
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Sep 30, 2024
Monday Sep 30, 2024
We know our story of sexual betrayal and recovery is not the only one out there, so we are excited to share with you a compelling conversation we had with Steve Shields from the Unashamed Unafraid podcast. He tells his unique and very personal story of how a Christian man trapped in porn addiction was able to come to terms with his powerlessness, and after several recovery setbacks, was finally able to get experience freedom from shame and addiction and help others get free as well.
It is so good to know that we are not alone on this journey of brokenness to wholeness. No matter who you are or where you’ve been, there is hope for a better future on the other side of porn-fueled infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Listen in to hear some nuggets of truth and wisdom as we hear Steve tell his amazing redemption story!
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
Connect with Steve Shields:
Unafraid Unashamed podcast
unashamedunafraid.com
instagram- @unashamedunafraid
youtube- @unashamedunafraidpod
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 20. From Porn Queen To Child of God Now On Mission To Help Others Find Freedom with Elizabeth Spraggins
Episode 21. Breaking Free: How To Escape the Grip of Porn Addiction with Emmanuel and Bekah Guarino
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Sep 23, 2024
Monday Sep 23, 2024
We had planned to update and replay episodes all this month to help us take things a little slower for our anniversary. Well, we got of our 2 most popular shows out, but this week we decided to share some new content with you.
We want to give some encouragement and a little guidance to those of you who are struggling in the storm of your broken marriage. Whether you have been betrayed or you have broken trust, this episode will show you how to find peace and comfort through the praise and celebration of our amazing Redeemer and Lord, Jesus Christ.
We pray this blesses you!
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 28. Giving Thanks In Your Broken Marriage Through Gratitude
Episode 58. Purpose from Pain. Did Sexual Betrayal Destroy God’s Plan for Your Marriage?
Episode 61. Is Joy Possible After Sexual Betrayal?
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Monday Sep 16, 2024
Monday Sep 16, 2024
It's been almost a year and a half since we first told our stories of sexual addiction and betrayal on our podcast. A lot has happened since then!
We are so very grateful for the recovery, healing, and growth that both of us have experienced since D-Day in 2018. It has been due to God's help, tons of hard work on our part, and a great support community.
To commemorate our 37th wedding anniversary, we are taking a little slower pace for the month of September. So, on today's episode, we are revisiting Johnny's story of how a young boy with hopes and dreams for a wonderful future ends up confessing to his wife of 31 years that he is a sex addict and an adulterer.
His painful story is tragic, but also beautiful because he knows the One who makes a way when there is no way. Jesus can make something beautiful out of the ashes of our lives if we let him. And we know it's true because he's done it for us. He can do it for you too!
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
Sex Addict Self-Assessment Questionnaire
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 01. ”Why Are We Talking About Betrayal?” A Q&A with the Betrayed and the Betrayer
Episode 02. Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me
Episode 04. Sharing Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
Beyond Broken Vows
Hello Beloved,
You may have been betrayed by your spouse or you may be the one who has betrayed your spouse through pornography use or even extra-marital relationships.
God loves you both!
We are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been on the painful road of sexual betrayal and addiction, but our marriage has been redeemed by the miraculous power of Jesus Christ.
Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But with God's help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too.
So, if you are ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and get ready to be encouraged!